The wonderful world of Tipping-Part 1

Tips can be a tricky...do you pay your hairdresser a flat rate or percentage?  When do you give the valet his tip, before you walk in to your venue, when you are leaving, or both?  Here are a few suggestions on how to tip properly:

• Be discrete.  There is no need to flash your cash if you're a big tipper.
• It is customary to tip on the pre-taxed amount of the bill.
• When in doubt about tipping, ask in advance.
• Money is the tip of choice, but in some cases a small gift, usually during the holidays can be substituted.

Restaurants and Bars:

Waiters- 15% is standard, in large cities 15-20% is standard.  Exceptions to the 15-20% rule include:

• When a restaurant is self serve- 10% is customary and is a thank you for preparing drinks and cleaning up your table
• When the waiter has been especially accommodating- you may wish to add an additional percentage or 2-5$ to your 20%
• When a gratuity has already been added to the bill- then there is no need to give a tip.
• When your stay at a crowded restaurant is lengthy- Most restaurants count on turning tables at a fairly quick rate.  Taking more time at a table means losing money for the restaurant and the server.  Tacking on an extra 10-15% will express your thanks for being allowed to linger.

Bartenders

• As you wait for a table, you can either pay for your drinks as you order or ask the bartender to run a tab, with will be added to your dinner bill.  In either case, leave a tip for the bartender when you are told that your table is ready.  in small towns 1$ per drink is fine.  
• If you're at a bar simply to have a drink, tip between 15-20% at higher end if the bartender has run a tab for you, if he's thrown in a free drink or two, add a couple of extra dollars to your tip.

Wine Stewards

• A wine steward ( in upscale restaurants, the sommilier if a man, sommeliere if a woman) is tipped 15-20% of the wine bill, but only if he or she was especially attentive.  If the the steward merely took your order and poured your first glass of wine, you might leave 10-15%, though no tip is required.
• Customers usually tip a wine steward in cash at the end of the meal but in some restaurants you might find a wine-tip line on the credit card bill.  And take note:When tipping a wine steward, tip your waiter only for the food portion of your bill.

Valet Attendants

• Tip the parking attendants 2$ in smaller cities and 3-5$ in larger cities.  Give the tip when the car is brought to you, not when you arrive.

In Transit

At Airports

• Curbside baggage checker, skycap, or airline porter.  The standard is 1$ to 2$ per bag- a little more if the bag is very heavy.
• Wheelchair attendant.  A 2-5$ tip is standard.  If the attendant goes the extra mile, such as pushing the wheelchair from one end of the large airport to the other, tip on the higher end or even more.
• Hotel shuttle bus driver.  If the driver helps you with your baggage, tip no less than 1$ per bag.
• Workers in the airport. Tip as you would servers in other restaurants.

On Trains

• Dining or club car waiter. 15-20%
• Waiter delivering to sleeping car-15-20%
• Redcap or train porter-1$ per bag plus 1$ added to the total.
• Sleeping car porter-2$ per person per night.

In Taxis, Private Cars, or Limousines

• Taxis- generally about 20% of the fare, but in large cities you should tip a minimum of 1$.  If a taxi driver helps with your luggage or packages, a slightly larger tip is always in order; in general 1$ per bag.  Try to avoid using large bills, especially during short rides or shift changes, when drivers aren't likely to have change.
• For car and Limousine services, the easiest way to top is to tell the service to add the gratuity to the bill, and often times this is done automatically. You may do this when you request the service.  In larger cities, the standard tip is about 20%; in smaller cities, 15%.  When a gratuity is included in the fee, there's no need to tip more.

On Cruises 

Tips at sea

• A good rule is to allow about 15% of your fare for tipping.  Divide about half of this allowance between the cabin and dining-room stewards and distribute the rest to others who served you.
• Cabin Stewards, Dining Room Stewards, and Waiters should receive about 3$ per day minimum.  Put tips in separately addressed envelopes and hand them to each person at the end of the cruise with a note of thanks if you wish.
• Lounge and bar Stewards- 15-20% at the time of service.  
• Wine Steward- 15-20% Each time you use his services.
• Hairdressers, manicurists, and other service people are tipped at the same rate as on land (that will be in part two)
• Like train and airport porters-1$ per bag at the time of service
• On longer cruises consider tipping weekly and find a day that works for you to be consistent.  
• Do not tip the ships officers, but do thank them for their courtesy and hospitality if you cross paths or happen to go to a captains dinner.  Do not tip the ships doctor.

Next post I will talk about Hotels, service industry professionals, Health care providers, Home delivery services, Residential Building Personnel, and other out- and about tipping.  I also have a post about holiday tipping that I will refer you to.  

Tips on holiday tipping

As a follow up to my recent five minutes on 6AM TV (bright-eyed and bushy-tailed), I thought I would jot down some specifics for those interested in finding one place for the appropriate amounts to tip those in the service industry whose services we use throughout the year.  I had a newscaster call me yesterday and we did a story on it in Dallas yesterday afternoon, that was fun.  I think it's something that people do forget about and I'm happy to remind them.  

Whether and how much you tip widely varies, depending on the quality and frequency of the service, where you live,  (amounts are usually higher in large cities, and your budget.  If you’ve regularly tipped at the time of service, either forgo a holiday tip, or cut back on the amount.  Try to get your child’s input when deciding on any gifts for teachers, day care providers, nannies, and babysitters.

Every situation is different so let common sense, specific circumstances, and holiday spirit be your guides.  This tip amounts might be helpful:

Nanny

A gift from your family (or one week’s pay), plus a card from your child/children

Babysitter, regular

One evening’s pay, plus a small gift from your child

Barber

Cost of one haircut and possibly a small gift

Beauty salon staff

10-60$ each, giving most to those who give most to you, and possibly a small gift.

Child’s teacher

Gift, NOT Cash or check- school policy.  Ideas:  Classroom supplies such as books, sanitizer, tissue, picture frame, fruit basket, gourmet basket, slippers, cozy blanket, joint gift with other moms, a food item purchased by a group.

Day-care providers

25-70$ each, plus a small gift from your child; of only one or two providers, consider higher-range amount

Dog walker/Pet Sitter

One weeks pay

Personal Fitness trainer

Cost of one session and possibly a holiday card thanking them for hard work

Garage attendants

10-30$ each, to be distributed by my manager 

Housekeeper

One days pay

Letter carriers

US Government regulations permit carriers to accept gifts worth up to 20$ each, but a basket of fruit or candy, and nuts, are appropriate too.  You could also write a kind letter to their supervisor telling them how your carrier goes out of their way to ensure your packages safe arrival.

Massage Therapist

One session’s fee

Newspaper delivery

10-30$

Private Nurse 

Gift, not cash (too personal of a job)

Nursing home employees

Gift, not cash (see above)

Package deliverer

Small gift if you receive deliveries regularly; most delivery companies prohibits other.    

Pool cleaner

Cost of cleaning the pool

Doorman

10-80

Elevator man

15-40

Handy Man

15-40

Superintendent

20-80

Trash/recycling

10-20/each for private service (a gift is also appropriate- candy, nuts, popcorn)

Yard worker/gardener

20-50

If you can't afford to tip these people, just remember, it's not all about the money for them, or rest assured, they wouldn't be in any of these professions (for the most part).  They enjoy serving you, seeing your hair transform, opening the door and making you smile when they ask how your day was, helping work out the kinks in your neck- so a card, at the very least, with a personal message written of thanks and gratitude for them this time of year is also very much appreciated (I've done my research in the field and asked).  Just don't forget to remember them.  

My two cents!

The Green Lantern

I had a request to talk a little about bed and breakfast etiquette. Our favorite location to frequent is Carmel, CA (for all who have listened to my ravings about Carmel, I apologize). It's special to my heart, I did part of my growing up there...thank you Mom and Dad for our home on the sea, what beautiful memories; my brother was just recently engaged there.

We always stay at the same B&B. The Green Lantern Inn has been there since 1927 and it's so charming (so is the entire town). It's where my parents spent their honeymoon, and where they stayed until they bought a vacation home there.

I will never forget staying there one year; we were there for a week and stayed in the same room we always do. I was awakened in the middle of the night to sounds that I should have never heard and did not wish to hear, obviously. Needless to say, this would be my first rule:

• Remember you're not the only ones there. While it's wonderful to be away and enjoy the company of your significant other, there are other guests staying there for the same (and other) reasons. As always, be considerate of others. You can still enjoy time together while remembering that you're not on an island for two.
• Leisurely morning walks and sitting on our little patio...what fond memories, and two things I love to do while I'm there. I also love the food. Remember that if you're eating breakfast in the main dining area, you should be dressed. I'm not suggesting that you come into the dining area coiffed and ready to go at 7am, but pajamas are better for your room. If you want to remain in your "comfies", have your honey get breakfast and meet you in the room; most B&B's have trays, and if you can't see them, don't hesitate to ask.
• Tipping: this is different than staying in a hotel because most "innkeepers" are also the owners. Often times they are the ones making up your rooms. It would be insulting to leave money on the bed or in an envelope for them for cleaning; but it's never considered bad taste to write a lovely thank you note, send flowers or a nice basket if you loved your stay...my top 10 hostess gifts might be appropriate. Ask your innkeeper who is tending to your room so that you can make an informed decision.

I'm sure there are many more things to add to this, but in my opinion, these things are crucial to remember so that you can enjoy your stay and, at the same time, help others feel comfortable.

As long as I'm reminiscing about Carmel, these are a few of my favorites: Patisserie Boisseire (I've mentioned them before-without name- they don't allow cell phones), Highlands Inn (Pacific's Edge restaurant), Jonathan Lee (we loved you and still listen to the beautiful music all the time-I'm playing his music today), clam chowder at Flahertys, Masterpiece gallery, Carmel Bakery, Katy's Place, The Spa at Pebble Beach, Thom Gregg Jewelers (our family jeweler for 25 years, we love you!), and I have to say, I do love the new Tiffany & Co on Ocean, even if it is a little bit of the outside world creeping in! I could go on forever, but these links should help you fall in love with Carmel, and then you can go experience it for yourself...but not in the Summer!

Fancy Fridays

Legend has it, the word "tip" itself came years ago from a pub owner who used the acronym on a box "To Insure Promptness." In that spirit, tipping should be thought of first and foremost as a reward for prompt and attentive service.

Tips for tipping!

Time Your Tipping
Depending on the timing, tipping can be a reward for good service rendered, or a subtle bribe. If you are using the service of one person repeatedly throughout your trip (say, a doorman) feel free to tip all at once at the end of your stay. If, however, you would like to ensure special service throughout your stay (say, from the concierge), a larger tip up front is a good idea. Tipping etiquette says either is acceptable.

Keep Bills Handy For Tipping
Keep several one dollar bills handy in an accessible pocket. You don't want to be digging for them when you're juggling luggage. Keep the bills neatly folded in groups of one or two bills.

Don't Ask For Change
According to tipping etiquette, it creates a very awkward situation to ask for change from the person you are tipping. If for some reason you don't have a tip ready, it's better to skip it, particularly if you can get change from somewhere else and return with your tip at some point in the future.

Know Your Tipping Tendencies
Be aware of your own unconcious tipping tendencies. Studies show women tend to tip men more generously (and men tip women better). Tipping goes up universally when the weather is good, lower when it is not. Attractive women earn higher tips, as do attentive men who don't make mistakes.

Know the Tipping Policy
Increasingly, higher-end hotels are instituting "no tipping policies" that incude gratuities in the price of the room. Some, particularly resorts, are charging a daily fee that covers all gratuities. However, if you sign up for outside excursions or tours (even those that don't cost extra), chances are the drivers and/or the tour guides will expect tips. Ask when you book.

Bed and Breakfast Tipping Etiquette
In general, tipping etiquette dictates that business owners are not given tips. Most B&Bs fall under that category, and indeed, most have "no tipping" policies in place. If you are in doubt, ask about their tipping policy when you book your room. (If the housekeeping staff is not part of the family, do tip them as you would in a hotel.)

A Tip and a Thank You

"It would be ideal if everyone who offered a service of any kind were paid so well that he or she did not need to depend on tips, but this, unfortunately, is not the case. Therefore we must remember that many, many people are dependent on a "reward" for good service, in addition to their regular salaries."-Emily Post

I worked at a fine restaurant in California and during my time there, I remember being so grateful when my service was rewarded by a generous tip. I was paid well hourly (as I know is not always the case), but it was so nice to know that my efforts to take care people were noticed and appreciated. I believe that tips should be merited. I think that if the service is great, a great tip should be left, if the service is less than fabulous, the tip should be reduced, and I'm sure there are (though I have actually never encountered any) circumstances in which a tip is not deserved and management should be contacted.

Let's review some basic "Tip" principles.

* A fine dining establishment- 20% plus is considered a generous tip. If there is a large dinner party, even though the "tip" is normally included for large parties, it is kind to tip the head waiter or maitre d' no less than $10.

*Musicians- at least $1 per special request, and it's always nice to stop and listen to a street musician and have them play something for you, they're working hard too.

*Valet Parking- $2- only when your car is brought, you are not obligated to tip when the car is dropped off, that surprised me.

*Hotels:
-Doorman getting a taxi for you-$ 1-3 depending on difficulty to obtain it and weather

-Doorman opening the door- if you feel so inclined you may tip $1, but a smile or a thank you is just fine.

-Bellman carrying and delivering your luggage- no less than $2 a bag

NOTE: if a hotel manager is showing you to your room (if you are a VIP or have a suite), do not tip him or her, it is insulting.

-Maid- if you are staying four nights or more, $2 per night, in a sealed envelope marked chambermaid or given to the maid herself. If you are staying less than four nights, leave a tip daily as the maid service does change and usually is scheduled in 3-4 day increments that may overlap during your stay.

-Room service- this one is for you honey! 15% in addition to the surcharges and percentages added to the bill. Never less than $2.

*Taxis- minimum of 50 cents. 20% of the fare is the general rule. If the driver assists you with your bags, you may leave a slightly largert tip.

*Private car/Limousine service- You may add the gratuity to your bill in advance for your convenience or you may pay the driver directly- usually 20%.

*On board ships:
$25 per week to your cabin steward
$20 per week to your deck steward
$25 per week to your dining room steward
$20 per week to the chief dining room steward
$5-8 per week for the busboy
NOTE- the cruise ship will usually help you ascertain who you should leave a tip to and for how much. In many cases, this is already taken care of on your bill and you can adjust one daily amount according to your overall service; the amounts are divided up by the ship. That's the way we did it-Fabulous!

*Beauty services-
Colorist- 15-20%
Hair stylist- 15-20%
Shampoo person- $1-3
Manicurist/pedicurist- $2 for a simple manicure/ 15-20% otherwise
Facial, makeup, waxing-15%
NOTE: If you have someone who regularly does these things for you, it is also customary to give them a small gift at Christmas as well

*Car Wash- 1$ is considered enough- I have to say, I feel bad for them when it's 95˚ outside, so I give them a little more!

Wow! that was a long list. This was not intended to make you feel like you have to leave your fortune to everyone else as you go about your day, but just to give you a guideline to follow if, perhaps, you need one. It's always a good reminder for me to know exactly what is expected of me.

One final note. The best tip...after the money, is a sincere thank you. Everyone loves it when they are complimented and loves it even more when you can name something specific that you have enjoyed. Go ahead, always remember that smiles are contagious and that it doesn't cost you anything extra to give a compliment. Plan ahead, think during your meal about what you've liked about the food, your server, or the restaurant. If you've been going to the same hair stylist for the past 10 years, remember to tell them how much you love the way they do your hair and how lucky you are to have them around. When that bellman brings up your 20 bags for the weekend and places them neatly in your room, thank him for handling your baggage so carefully and compliment him on how great it is that he is willing to work so hard.

Have a great weekend and I'm excited to cook up something exciting?!?! for next week.