tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76470533641036210512024-03-20T04:19:37.953-06:00The Pink Teapot- A guide to EtiquetteA guide to Etiquette about: communication etiquette, difficult etiquette, children's etiquette, basic etiquette, entertainment etiquette, guest etiquette, travel etiquette, wedding etiquette, world etiquette, and more.Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.comBlogger213125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-3947891554533055692017-11-29T08:18:00.001-07:002017-11-29T08:22:30.685-07:00A quick hello...I can't believe I haven't written on my blog in over 2 years. Basically I got a full time job away from home and stopped posting because I've been busy working and raising teenagers. Do they bring a whole different meaning to the word perspective! <br />
<br />
I feel the exact same way about manners and etiquette as I always have, and I feel that it's more relevant than ever. There is even a snapchat story called Mr. Manners for those who are engrossed in the social media format of doing things (wish I had thought of that). <br />
<br />
We've moved, had a child move out, had two kids become legal adults, and all sorts of stuff in between. I look forward to challenging myself with finding content that you want to read.Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-48065816387507317242015-09-25T12:51:00.002-06:002017-11-29T08:18:39.049-07:00The Stitch Fix breakup...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYD41waE1b5qJ4CX-hudI1RWHRByDRukVFuCvVNW053yzALic0nwKZeS9BJjvHAp2sdjeqMKN7UQWhQb88ioHogU0N4BSHqQG9MZvDH6eEaygiGbOAIarV_r78Dj5LMD2MmZd0EM0aPs/s1600/Unknown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYD41waE1b5qJ4CX-hudI1RWHRByDRukVFuCvVNW053yzALic0nwKZeS9BJjvHAp2sdjeqMKN7UQWhQb88ioHogU0N4BSHqQG9MZvDH6eEaygiGbOAIarV_r78Dj5LMD2MmZd0EM0aPs/s400/Unknown.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
*Warning* Not an etiquette post. This is more along the lines of what not to buy* Keeping an eye out for my fellow fashionistas!<br />
<br />
I was so excited about the prospect of having someone else pick out some clothing pieces for me, ship them to my door, and send back what I don't want. However, after trying this a few times, I'm underwhelmed and here's why:<br />
<br />
1. I am charged a 20$ "styling fee" every time a box ships. <br />
<br />
2. Prices don't seem to match those of other stores carrying the exact same product (more about that in the video below).<br />
<br />
3. They place their own tags on the outside of the clothing (much like Nordstrom) but that makes me feel like I can't try on the clothes outside of my closet to decide if a dress that I'm paying 200$ for is going to work for me or not.<br />
<br />
4. After 3 days if they don't have a tracking number, they start to bother you (this bugs because I have one of those community mail boxes...post 9/11 and I can't fit the return bag in the slot!).<br />
<br />
5. After they mark up their items, I end up with 300-500$+ bills every box! (I was getting one every two weeks...doesn't make for a happy hubby either).<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/i66ZOb_Q_zA/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/i66ZOb_Q_zA?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
I have to say, I agree with her, I don't like that I'm being taken. I like bargains, but I also like nice things. I love convenience. I want all of that value when something is sent to me. I can get that by shopping sales of brands I already know and love. Yes I love the idea, but the execution is off. I hope Stitch Fix figures it out and perhaps some of your more savvy shoppers will return. <br />
<br />
Not impressed.<br />
<br />
My two cents.<br />
<br />Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-87384218871410723222015-09-23T07:00:00.002-06:002015-09-23T07:00:35.174-06:00The power of a handshake<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtLiVcvATPss_A2EQUWPdrJ8KvRfHTtbiUjh2Z88UbF6rLgskyg8OC9AVJ7cO838_Q8_-6rFMARoQlF6Q3kJmz4A-BcR1vhti76huuFsUhrb7Rlwc_iKxMkX2N_ftO4sQ_pUpIi39ehNg/s1600/hands.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtLiVcvATPss_A2EQUWPdrJ8KvRfHTtbiUjh2Z88UbF6rLgskyg8OC9AVJ7cO838_Q8_-6rFMARoQlF6Q3kJmz4A-BcR1vhti76huuFsUhrb7Rlwc_iKxMkX2N_ftO4sQ_pUpIi39ehNg/s320/hands.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I was watching a show the other day and saw a woman shake a man's hand with her fingers only (dainty, very 1890's) for this post we'll call it the Lobster Claw. I was intrigued. I wondered if I had missed something and some women were now trying to reverse their roles in society and I had not gotten the memo. I did some research, read some articles, sourced a couple of good books, and came to find that it's really a preference; but one not to be taken lightly.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKBwYtli-WW8J3PG9K29aQf7tsVqVRPKyTpBkBhc_1N8jtRQFxUeF0S87b9NziiqBcLYBQ6k_bsyE3Urw85WRkAESP1BssEe5tBD0NVbg6b-WeYDPt0lvYIp5hUcDEqKUElq4l_f8f6pA/s1600/Unknown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKBwYtli-WW8J3PG9K29aQf7tsVqVRPKyTpBkBhc_1N8jtRQFxUeF0S87b9NziiqBcLYBQ6k_bsyE3Urw85WRkAESP1BssEe5tBD0NVbg6b-WeYDPt0lvYIp5hUcDEqKUElq4l_f8f6pA/s1600/Unknown.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Women in business, in particular, should shake hands "like a man" or traditionally. There should be no difference between a solid handshake between male or female when there is some sort of professional relationship. When it's pleasure or personal, you have a choice. Personally, I shake hands one way, but if women want to shake hands with men "fingers to palm" that's up to them. <br />
<br />
<br />
I was in a meeting yesterday and when I met the people with whom I had the appointment, I shook both their hands traditionally. It's a reflex. I didn't think about it. <b><i><a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2013/05/22/why-women-in-business-should-shake-hands/">This article</a></i></b> provides some feedback and opinions about "the business handshake" for both men and women. Women in social settings might hug, air kiss each cheek (used to be much more European than American), or shake hands in social situations. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/exUlCjqQsDA/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/exUlCjqQsDA?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
This video shows some ways to shake and not shake hands, specifically speaking about business handshakes. Personally I feel that shaking hands the "business way" is always my best choice unless I'm hugging or kissing someone. It shows I'm confident, outgoing, and that I'm serious.<br />
<br />
<br />
Being an extrovert I like shaking hands palm to palm. I feel more connected and studies show that you're twice as likely to remember the person if you shake their hand. My two cents.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJePIt_FghOKzgabSlKGAufX9gK5feFc9hounOHB9ljQQ6gMBtfxikSFyDd0Jw7LH5Y2dY8ttYoGB9hZJFRBLKpDTay8oGfcKSf7MbzvRbqbAxsPW00MA3a_Y4dLYxb2PAeIzDNpzkpY0/s1600/images.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJePIt_FghOKzgabSlKGAufX9gK5feFc9hounOHB9ljQQ6gMBtfxikSFyDd0Jw7LH5Y2dY8ttYoGB9hZJFRBLKpDTay8oGfcKSf7MbzvRbqbAxsPW00MA3a_Y4dLYxb2PAeIzDNpzkpY0/s1600/images.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-27024961549320589182015-05-21T06:52:00.002-06:002015-05-21T06:52:39.910-06:00Customer satisfaction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
I know it's been ages since I've posted. I always think about manners, etiquette, and great ideas for posts, but with a full time job as a wife and mama, another full time job, and all the other that stuff life brings, I just don't prioritize the blog like I should. Just know that I think about The Pink Teapot and you often. I also host a lot of etiquette dinners for youth which takes up some significant time.<br />
<br />
What brings me to actually typing this morning is an experience I had yesterday combined with one I had this past weekend. They were reminiscent of so many that I've had and I figured that since this happens to me so frequently, it must happen to others as well. Let's see, shall we?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I was in a retail clothing store yesterday (one of my favorites) and I needed to return a pair of pants and a top. I had spent a significant amount when making my original purchase, but I don't think that should matter; but I have found that sometimes retailers will treat me kindly when they know I'm a good customer (as in I will spend money). I asked the sales rep to look up my purchase. The details are tedious and unimportant, but I was treated like she was doing me a favor by giving me store credit (their policy by the way). She was condescending in her tone and spoke slowly so that I'd make sure to understand her. Even after verifying that I was, in fact, following "return procedure", she was annoyed that she had to look up my purchase and went as far as to say, "when you come in and just want to return something and you don't know how you paid for it or when you bought it..." I was taken aback (I did know how I purchased it- it was a store card that I had already given her; I also knew the date), I smiled, I thanked her (she did give me store credit with which to purchase even more stuff) and I proceeded to spend said credit (and a little more). I felt like I didn't want to be in that store any longer. I love the clothes, they fit me well, but the energy was so negative (I braved through it for a couple of pairs of shoes and a top).<br />
<br />
This past weekend, I was in search for the perfect woman's bag. I needed something that I felt I could use every day for my computer and as a personal handbag (a zip top) and by the way, unless it's a diaper bag, this seems to be very difficult to find. This would be my every day bag (I have a collection of bags, but I needed a trusty uniform-bag-briefcase). I went into a store where I've purchased many handbags and I was greeted. The sales rep asked me if I knew what I was looking for and I indicated that I did and explained what I wanted. I went right to the bag I thought was going to work. I explained what I was looking for and even gave preferences for color and she gave me *one* option. I saw one bag on a shelf that seemed to meet my needs, I walked over to it, and she said, "well that one is on sale, I guess if you want one that's on sale..." (um...who doesn't want a sale...seriously?). It turned out that after looking at 5 or 6 bags in that store, she simply said, "There's nothing that would work for you in here". Now I'm a fan of honesty, but turning away business? Maybe not. I felt like she could have directed me online, asked some questions, anything. There were probably 100 bags in that store. You're telling me we couldn't have found one that worked? <br />
<br />
Here's the thing that got me: She acted the entire time like she was doing *me* a favor. That's the same experience I had yesterday at the clothing store. The entitlement that some of these people seem to have just blows my mind. I'm not of the school that a sales rep should be treated poorly, and I don't think the customer is always right; but I do think it's a customer service reps' (sales reps) job to make the shopping experience a pleasant one and perhaps even go so far as to make the customer feel like you're happy they're there to shop. What a thought!<br />
<br />
We need to be considerate as consumers, and I've talked a lot about that, but it's difficult to be considerate and kind when the person who is helping you is rude, entitled, snotty, and vapid. Thank goodness for lots of choices in where we shop, although isn't it the worst when your favorite stores are the ones that you dread entering because of poor customer service?<br />
<br />
I think the US retail clothing industry has become far too complacent in training employees to be good customer service representatives. I also think that the generation that is currently in the work force (vague, I know) largely feels entitled, empowered (not in a positive way), they seem to have a superiority complex. <br />
<br />
I plead with employers, please interview carefully. Please ask how someone would handle a difficult customer, and then follow through with proper training and appropriate consequences/rewards for performance. <br />
<br />
It seems to me that retailers largely just don't care. I'm not sure why since the US apparel industry is a 331 *billion* dollar per year industry! <br />
<br />
I think we've largely gone online (and quite frankly if I could have exchanged the clothes and looked at the specks of the handbag online I would have), it's become common place to spend time and energy there as retailers. I personally think that's no excuse to let customer service slide.<br />
<br />
My two (or five) cents.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi07Rnof7MR8ZIYtFBJQ3tgMb7ZVH1US0V_57pc0wARohcjiTbjabEzyxZWzV_TuJs52Wv5sE6mQeC6ShEmkZnE2Y2E4uH87THcu_uHrtBWsSfOmBHLlkaTypebG9bb8FWlxizCtX3s81s/s1600/FullSizeRender-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi07Rnof7MR8ZIYtFBJQ3tgMb7ZVH1US0V_57pc0wARohcjiTbjabEzyxZWzV_TuJs52Wv5sE6mQeC6ShEmkZnE2Y2E4uH87THcu_uHrtBWsSfOmBHLlkaTypebG9bb8FWlxizCtX3s81s/s400/FullSizeRender-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
PS Thanks <b><a href="http://www.coach.com/">Coach</a> </b>for having the perfect women's work bag. Not a diaper bag (nothing wrong with them, I'm just out of that stage), but a working, zip top, well priced bag! Thank you also for being so polite, friendly, and professional; and no, I didn't get a bag for free, I just feel like it's nice to point out the positive!Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-34495259139432173202014-08-12T19:20:00.001-06:002014-08-12T19:21:14.154-06:00Help my best friend and her family<div class="fundly-widget" style="width: 275px;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My best friend's husband was recently diagnosed with Lyme disease. Not only is this close to my heart because I love this family, but my mother in law has Lyme disease and it has crippled her (physically, not emotionally thank goodness). My mother in law has had Lyme for over 19 years and I've seen its devastating affects on it's victims first hand. I plead with you to contribute whatever you can to help Jon get the treatment he needs that is not covered by insurance. Many insurance companies consider anything other than antibiotics "alternative" and although I'm sure he will continue to be on antibiotics, it runs much deeper. They have four amazing and beautiful children and Eddislynn (Ed) runs a million miles an hour trying to raise her family. Any and all donations and well wishes are appreciated. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Thank you my readers. You're the best!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Janine</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<iframe src="https://d2wwhrh9otv6z9.cloudfront.net/campaign_card.html?activity=jon-s-journey-with-lyme-disease" style="border: none; height: 510px; width: 275px;"></iframe></div>
<div style="line-height: 14px; margin: 0; text-align: right;">
<a href="http://fundly.com/?ft_src=widget_campaign_card" style="color: #888888; font: 10px/18px helvetica; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="Fundly" src="https://images.fundly.com/uploads/420caabe-becb-4088-8a22-f773d8295962.png?w=80" style="float: right; margin-left: 5px;" />powered by</a></div>
</div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-31098455881474881422014-08-04T14:43:00.001-06:002014-08-04T16:16:44.550-06:00Today on Studio 5...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjchQWCXQg3chUR97rlGHmyFVlpG75omV44u82C2WZAp_RR8b8ddTkGWFsoeRpDzX_rU3rCR2wyiftO5_4g6sPV-6a5DKPWQaCehedcleuCdA1zC2pSvR3CV-c3pk5owNEUiAFbMSOdmLg/s1600/IMG_5830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjchQWCXQg3chUR97rlGHmyFVlpG75omV44u82C2WZAp_RR8b8ddTkGWFsoeRpDzX_rU3rCR2wyiftO5_4g6sPV-6a5DKPWQaCehedcleuCdA1zC2pSvR3CV-c3pk5owNEUiAFbMSOdmLg/s1600/IMG_5830.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Thanks for the emails and compliments on my outfit! The necklace and T are J Crew. You guys are the best ever! For those who don't understand, I offer customizable etiquette and manners courses designed to help you in business, school, social situations, family, etc. Please email me with inquiries: thepinkteapot [at] gmail [dot] com</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Loves!</div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-76125535706750939902014-05-07T09:06:00.001-06:002014-05-07T09:06:14.523-06:00Don't judge me by my teacups<div style="text-align: center;">
I love watching, reading, or hearing things that are uplifting and inspiring. There are great sources out there that do just that, however, overwhelmingly, the media presented is not uplifting or inspiring. I've always found it so odd that Facebook is supposed to be a social media platform to share insights with friends and family and I've always tried to honor doing that in the most honest and real way possible; neither editing out all our hardships or concentrating on them, but being real, as real as one can be behind a computer or phone screen. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've had people call me and ask me to take this or that down from my personal FB page, which is ironic because it is (as a wise friend described it) like my living room walls. The pictures I hang don't have to be your favorites, but they reflect me as a person, sometimes they are masterpieces, other times they just have a special meaning to me and might seem worthless to the casual observer. But the person who knows me well would look at my collection of teacups from all different times in my life and know what they are, and a few (a special few) might admire the teacups just because they're different and want to get to know me better. The point is, don't judge me by my teacups. They are an amalgam of special times and people, personal and special to me. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think it's easy to fall into a pattern where (especially as women) we feel the need to "only concentrate on the positive" when it comes to social media. I personally choose to share snapshots of my life, whether the tough times or the triumphant times (sometimes those are one in the same). Maybe it's too real for people. I love the inspiring stories and videos, but I also believe I connect with people over social media in order to help facilitate better "in person" relationships, not to avoid them. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This video recently on my FB feed seemed very appropriate and describes how I feel about social media (or anti-social media as they case may be). Our experiences with social media will vary greatly just like our life experiences do. I hope each of us can live life to the fullest and make sure that we always love the one we're with and not love our screens...they won't love you back.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Z7dLU6fk9QY" width="560"></iframe>Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-34162308540749426402014-02-28T08:17:00.000-07:002014-02-28T08:19:52.285-07:00Chauvinistic or Chivalrous <div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Chivalry is not dead!</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I came across a great article that embodies what I speak to youth about and what my blog is all about; helping others feel more comfortable. This article speaks to 8 acts of Chivalry that should be brought back and that it's not about the inability of women to perform these tasks on their own, but out of respect and consideration for someone other than one's self. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did. As a wife, mama, chauffeur, cook, and all the other titles that come along with my identity, I appreciate this from a man's perspective who is trying to show true respect to women. I'm not less than, never thought I was, and I always knew I wanted to marry a man who agreed with that and I know that my husband would not only do these things for me (does do them), but will do these things for other women. I only hope I can raise a son who is just as considerate as his father.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://jamesmsama.com/2014/02/01/8-acts-of-chivalry-to-bring-back/">http://jamesmsama.com/2014/02/01/8-acts-of-chivalry-to-bring-back/</a></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here's another article written in the DailyMail about women accepting men's help. 89% of women say they wouldn't accept a mans help:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Women are suspicious of kind men who open doors for them or offer a coat on a cold day because of a decline in good manners, research has suggested.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Traditional acts of chivalry once thought to be polite and noble are frowned upon in the 21st century because they are so rare.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>That means the 'knight in shining armour' persona is an unwanted fantasy now that women strive to be strong and independent.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Style gurus claim 'standards have slipped' in the way men conduct themselves so women are 'suspicious' of gestures once thought to be polite or kind.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>A survey said 82 per cent of women preferred to pay for their dinner on a first date and 52 per cent claimed they would happily pay the entire bill.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Men who think women are lumbering heavy shopping bags around should think twice before running to their assistance, because 89 per cent would not accept an offer to help.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>And the scene of a considerate lover throwing his coat over the shoulders of a wife or girlfriend seems to be just for Hollywood rom-coms only - a massive 78 per cent said they would not accept the gesture even on a cold day.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Mark Hall, of Socked.co.uk, an online style guide offering tips on etiquette, said: 'Men's standards have slipped so far over recent years.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>'Any offer of chivalry from a gentleman knocks a woman off their guard and is viewed with outright suspicion.</i></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>'Does an offer of goodwill have to be taken the wrong way?</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; text-align: left;"><br /><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2262609/Chivalrous-acts-thought-polite-noble-make-women-suspicious-rare-study-suggests.html#ixzz2ud51Y8V6" style="color: #003399; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; min-height: 1px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2262609/Chivalrous-acts-thought-polite-noble-make-women-suspicious-rare-study-suggests.html#ixzz2ud51Y8V6</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We have to be smart ladies. I carry defense with me at all times and I'm aware of my surroundings, but taking a seat offered to you on a crowded shuttle or allowing a man to open a door for you, who does that hurt? I believe it only demeans us as women if we feel inferior in the first place or that we have something to prove. I personally don't and appreciate that there are still gentlemen out there.</span></span></div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-88103446463018553072014-02-17T13:26:00.006-07:002014-02-28T08:18:43.482-07:00A mom of older kids<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOb83tb0EOAGLY-qff4f7qhtVsl2X4XuN2u5Wu2h-WtrREy9HDDYzvJP3VAQFW8U7tPGGY8foajIXC6kL_pegvJtkYPZLAA4ucMQa6r3iyerM2rFN5AqrmXEjPIvWIh0zMyi52gAfqfRU/s1600/Unknown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOb83tb0EOAGLY-qff4f7qhtVsl2X4XuN2u5Wu2h-WtrREy9HDDYzvJP3VAQFW8U7tPGGY8foajIXC6kL_pegvJtkYPZLAA4ucMQa6r3iyerM2rFN5AqrmXEjPIvWIh0zMyi52gAfqfRU/s1600/Unknown.jpg" height="281" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Today I looked on Facebook. Not a new thing. But today I cried as I read a post that so perfectly described what I'm going through. So when you write to me and tell me you miss my posts about manners, take a moment and read this, it's what I'm going through.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.homesanctuary.com/rachelanne/2014/02/dear-lonely-mom-of-older-kids.html"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>http://www.homesanctuary.com/rachelanne/2014/02/dear-lonely-mom-of-older-kids.html</b></span></a></div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-84166390133057107502014-02-04T13:27:00.001-07:002014-02-28T08:18:12.538-07:00The art of conversation<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="vk_ans" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large !important; margin-bottom: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span data-dobid="hdw"><span style="color: magenta;">con·ver·sa·tion</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 15px;">
<div class="lr_dct_ent_ph" style="font-size: large; text-align: center;">
<span class="lr_dct_ph"><span style="color: magenta;">ˌkänvərˈsāSHən/</span></span></div>
<div>
<div class="lr_dct_sf_h" style="padding-top: 10px; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: magenta;">noun</span></i></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd vk_gy" data-mh="-1" style="-webkit-transition: max-height 0.3s; max-height: 0px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><b></b><b></b></span></div>
<ol class="lr_dct_sf_sens" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_sen vk_txt" style="padding-top: 10px;">
<div style="float: left; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 1.2;"><span style="color: magenta;"> the informal exchange of ideas by spoken words.</span></span></div>
</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I recently chatted with Brooke Walker from KSL's Studio 5 while she was on KBYU radio (also Sirius XM radio channel 143) filling in for Matt Townsend. It was fun to chat with her (love her and consider her a friend) and it's also led to an invitation to come chat with Matt on a regular basis to discuss manners and etiquette; I even got a real phone call with a question (other than the one from my mother-she's so cute). To the point, my chat with Brooke was about the art of conversation and how to keep it going or start it without being superficial or too deep.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here's what we talked about:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1. Be genuinely interested in the person to whom you are speaking</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>- no matter what you're asking, make sure are sincere and that will be perceived hopefully by the other party.</span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2. All conversations are give and take. Don't interview and don't be interviewed. </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>- After you are asked a question about yourself, answer it and then perhaps ask a question back to show interest in the other person.</span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3. Always be your best self, we want to see it all, but not all at once.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>- it's always great to talk about interesting things going on in the world such as politics or religion, but these topics can often be personal and even volatile at times. Try to be your real self while keeping the focus on neutral topics such as career, traveling, etc.</span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4. Just because you're different doesn't mean you have nothing in common.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>- If something comes up that creates a divide or where you don't see eye to eye with the other person, build on some point of commonality, finding the positive in their response.</span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5. It's called "The art of conversation" for a reason- it takes time, practice, and lots of patience, but it will pay off if you do those things.</span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5 conversation starters:</span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ask a question, for example: What do you do? What brings you here today? What have you been up to lately? What do you have going on this next week?</span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2. Pay a compliment (a sincere one): Notice something about the person that you like, this can be a quality or even something as simple as what they are wearing or how they did their hair (for women especially). </span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3. Use a surrounding object as an anchor: (A. at an event- "the speaker before lunch was so fascinating. I didn't realize there were so many things to do in New Zealand", B. at a social gathering, "this is such a beautiful location, I've never been here before, have you?" C. Waiting in line to order food, "I love the buffalo chicken here but I haven't tried any other sauces. Have you ever tried (insert name of different foods here)?" </span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4. Ask for help or advice. This puts you in a passive role which can be very helpful at times when you feel like your questions aren't being answered. Asking someone for advice helps them feel valued, this is a great way to rescue a crashing conversation. You must be observant and know on which subjects they feel they are knowledgeable. </span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5. Share something about yourself. This also puts you in a vulnerable position, but a genuine one. I'd always choose to be genuine than superficial, it's much more gratifying. </span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Just last night I was grabbing a drink for my daughter at a fast food restaurant and as a lady and I were both standing by the drink machine waiting for our orders, she casually mentioned that "orange Fanta" was at the fast food establishment in Italy on the military base there. I responded that I didn't know they even had such a restaurant in Italy. I then shared that through my travels in Europe, I always ran into Orangina and was that the same thing as their "fanta"? She explained that it tasted quite different and I responded with how fascinated I was by the fact that they had such seemingly obscure restaurants in Europe and she went on to name several restaurant chains that she had visited all over the world and I asked if the menus varied or the taste...it went on like that until my food was ready and I wished her a pleasant evening. </span></span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Conversations are a basic human interaction that can feed or drain us. Even for those introverts out there, it can be an interesting experience and you never know what you can learn in just a few minutes with someone, and perhaps you made their day or they made yours...or better yet, both.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was a blast to have such a casual forum in which to speak and not be pressed for time. I love doing segments on Studio 5, this was just different, and a nice change. </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I hope this helps you feel more comfortable starting a conversation or helps you keep those </span>awkward<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> moments during a convo to a minimum. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Have a great week. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Janine</span>Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-6379905225086682862013-08-21T13:05:00.000-06:002013-08-21T13:06:31.908-06:00Customer (UN)satisfaction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyNlvfL7bRRKfXI-GuiJ7FvIVenLh2s8iRaYfnddqKugqVjxtunOw98_pNdbd_QZbNYxCup-fJB4szfUnjlbgJyAR_ELjx2VehO-ki4FWUp2gVGRdKtak9uHtqZ3VaEaymV2odEoms14/s1600/customer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyNlvfL7bRRKfXI-GuiJ7FvIVenLh2s8iRaYfnddqKugqVjxtunOw98_pNdbd_QZbNYxCup-fJB4szfUnjlbgJyAR_ELjx2VehO-ki4FWUp2gVGRdKtak9uHtqZ3VaEaymV2odEoms14/s320/customer.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I love getting those surveys that talk about customer satisfaction and I stay up way too late to make sure and fill them out because I should be sleeping, but someone has to. It's my duty, isn't it? Well it should be someones!<br />
<br />
My parents have often told me I'd be a great secret shopper or critic- not because I'm mean but because I have a sense of what should be, what works and what doesn't, and in the food arena, I just love good food, but that's another blog entirely that I will never get to write (never say never-another thing my mother says).<br />
<br />
The other day, I ordered some last minute outfits for my two youngest girls for their first day of school. I am not an "in-the-store" shopper when it comes to my kids if it can be avoided (for me it's an entirely different story). If it's a special occasion for my kids, it's a blast. If it's for massive amounts of school clothes with a markdown, FOR-GET-IT (can I hyphenate that?)! Especially here in Utah where everyone has multiple children (exaggeration but it feels that way) and people are willing to fight over a Gymboree sale (or any sale and it can get UGLY)...I'd rather shop online (or out of state). My older two were taken care of, but my littles had still not picked out their first day of school outfits and time was running out. I knew I'd have to pay overnight shipping at this point but I knew I could get it done. I placed my order (just under the gun) and relaxed as I felt with confidence that my order would arrive the day before school (arrive on Monday, school started Tuesday, placed the order on the previous Friday incidentally at 9:46amMT-important deets for later). <br />
<br />
Monday came, as did many, many, many packages, school supplies flew through the air, boxes were everywhere, clothes were tried on, Cayden's shirts (purchased at <a href="http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/">www.roadkilltshirts.com</a> which I'm not recommending necessarily because some of their shirts are vulgar and I had to get to the actual pages of the shirts I liked before C could even see the them however they are REALLY FUNNY...breathe) were laughed out loud at, not one but two back to school nights were attended but still no package. My FEDEX man was outraged (well maybe not but having been to my house he knew I was but still loves me) and the day had passed with no first day of school outfits for two cute little girls. Now, were they any less cute on the first day of school? Of course not! But, were they a bit deflated? Yes. They handle disappointment well. I am, after all, their mother. <br />
<br />
I called Gymboree the next morning after I took their pictures and send all my babies to High School (had him when I was 12), Jr High, and elementary school. I was thrilled to get someone on the other end who obviously was (not) well versed in Gymboree's shipping policies; which are as follows:<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><b>All orders received prior to 12 p.m. (noon) ET, Monday through Friday, are processed the same day upon credit card validation, and delivered via Fed Ex the following business day before 3:00 p.m. Business days are Monday through Friday, excluding Holidays. Orders placed after 12 p.m. (noon) ET on Fridays will ship out on Monday, pending credit card validation (unless Monday is a Holiday). Next Business Day Delivery is limited in select areas. For details on service locations, visit FedEx.com. Next Business Day Delivery is not available for shipments to P.O. Boxes, AK, HI, APO/FPO addresses or U.S. Territories.</b></i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;">The part she kept repeating was, "Orders placed after 12pm (noon) ET on Fridays will ship out on Monday, pending credit card validation (unless Monday is a Holiday)." She was explaining that they used Friday as a processing day in my case and that they were well within their rights since I placed my order ON A FRIDAY. I kindly (as kindly as I could muster) asked to speak to a supervisor several times which she denied me the opportunity of doing. She said their policy stated that orders placed Monday through Thursday before Noon ET would go out that day....but Friday didn't count. I wondered why. She placed me on hold several times. Finally after a 20 minute conversation and holds with this representative and her apparent frustration with me (and mine with her), she came back on the line and said, "we are going to refund your next day shipping as a courtesy because you're so upset." I said, "wait...I don't want it refunded if I made a mistake, but as far as I can tell, 9:46amMT is 11:46amET, and I got the confirmation email and my card had already been debited, so obviously it wasn't a card issue...but if I'm wrong, I don't want you to refund my shipping. I only want it refunded if there has been a mistake, which you keep saying there has not been. You have spent the last 20 minutes telling me there has not been." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;">She simply told me the refund would appear on my card within the next 30-60 days (thanks) and I was (emptily) told to have a nice day. BTW- true to my Pink Teapot self, no yelling or rude behavior took place, I just wanted to understand why my package wasn't shipped and why they refused, absolutely refused to take responsibility or even apologize for the inconvenience. (Are you guys still with me?)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;">So, at the risk of making this a REALLY long post (and yes, I know I'm breaking my own rules by using all caps, but rules are made to be broken today). </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;">I bought a brand new iPhone two months ago and along with it I bought the cutest C.Wonder case for like 35.00 at the Apple store. I have taken the case off 3 times exactly at the behest of Apple customer service to see if it improved my microphone (peeps keep saying they can't hear me very well). I went to put it back on today and it is broken in two places. I called C. Wonder and not only did the rep cut me off (C. Wonder, not Apple), she told me that it wasn't her problem, it was Apple's because that's where I bought it. She said (in a condescending tone like when you're speaking to a stupid person), "You know how when you buy something and it's defective? You always take it back to the store...you never contact the manufacturer." Oh really? Now I know that's true sometimes, but not always and InCase (another brand of cases for iPhones sold at the Apple store) has replaced Cord's cases several times even after like 2 years. They back up their product- That's a company! I contact manufacturers all the time. Samsung, Apple, Michael Kors,Vitamix (I'm looking around but you get the idea). It's the manufacturer's responsibility to make sure their product isn't defective and I've had the case for less than two months and it's clearly defective! I was thrilled with the level of devotion from her. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;">This all comes back to manners people. They are not being taught in the home and so why would people use them in their workplace when they are not being used at home. Why would one respect another in the workplace when they don't do it in the home? Fundamental principles. I don't care what kind of family unit you have, these things are not passé, they are not outdated, they are crucial. We say to our son all the time that we are teaching him what respect is and that he can figure out what respect means to him when he leaves our home, but that when he doesn't have the respect to call us when he's late for curfew causing our worry, there are consequences. That can change when he may have no one to answer to, although his boss may feel the same way as we do. It's so basic and yet it takes far more work and follow through than just letting people do whatever they want. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14px;">We are seeing the affects of a generation that has been allowed to do what they want (a general statement, of course there are so many wonderful people out there, but this is becoming or has become an epidemic).</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></span>Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-26175909737657231792013-05-01T09:51:00.000-06:002013-05-02T05:14:53.604-06:00What do I mean?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLGAfPaYkmMbfdLulNW8NTpTpRvWslQiM0shUMpEX0POUDifDiZ8D2eSA-gX0WNQ_5U-tHbINsv6w2WKwZBBHI5f4-khW2Me3hxe5agoQhMEC03nOcqPlzbLDHXMip3gtQhNyg8ZGNe0/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLGAfPaYkmMbfdLulNW8NTpTpRvWslQiM0shUMpEX0POUDifDiZ8D2eSA-gX0WNQ_5U-tHbINsv6w2WKwZBBHI5f4-khW2Me3hxe5agoQhMEC03nOcqPlzbLDHXMip3gtQhNyg8ZGNe0/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
My Madelyn woke up this morning and stated that snow hated her and that it was meant for January, not MAY! She very emphatically stated that she was ready for Summer; she's not alone in that sentiment.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Like one of my followers (and friends) said this morning, "It's May, time for @thepinkteapot to blog..."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I appreciate being missed. I didn't realize it had been a month since I last posted, but it's been a crazy month with Spring break, family issues, and just LIFE. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I am excited for the warm weather, for the pool to be opened (hopefully this week...sans snow), and for the kids to be out of school (although I don't know that I am as excited as they are). </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
My next segment for KSL has to do with Summer and family. I am curious and will be asking for input on my FB fan page.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I am dancing around a subject here, actually running away from it. I find this blog to be cathartic in many ways and feel that this is a venue where I may share whatever I deem appropriate. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I will not go into details for privacy's sake...but suffice it to say that I had a health scare with someone close to me. My initial reaction (before going to be by their side in another state) was to post something simple on FB asking for prayers. I believe in the power of prayer. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Five minutes later I got a call from someone else close to this person (but with no greater say in caring for or nurturing this person) telling me to take down the post, it was too private and/or too soon to say anything. I respect and love this person and did what was asked. After, not very long after, I consulted my wise husband. He told me that in this case, prayers and a general note was in order (and he's never on FB and is very private). I felt the same way; power in numbers. Blessings came from that five minutes and I believe this loved one was helped and blessed in part due to my gift of over-sharing. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The part I resented was being told what I could and could not post on FB that directly affects my life. Other people's business is other people's business- but this was mine. I ended up asking the loved one who was ill if they had a problem with my post; they did not at all and appreciated the effort.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Instead of being angry that perhaps some micromanaging had taken place (and some dominion that was unnecessary and inappropriate), I had allowed it. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I shortly after that chose to assert myself and let that person know how I felt about things like that in general. In this particular case, my FB rule still applies: if you wouldn't tell it to an acquaintance, don't tell it on FB. This is something I would tell an acquaintance, and have, and since I'm the etiquette blogger (although not an expert)- I might know what I'm talking about sometimes. I still have the right to be my own person and make my own decisions as an adult and be treated with respect.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Taking down that post was frustrating and I felt belittled and scolded. I chose to feel that way. No one can make me feel inferior without my consent; and I gave it.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
In the end, I will remember to stand up for what I believe is right, regardless of what others may say or do; that's integrity and courage. It's important to remind ourselves that we have those qualities or the potential to develop them as we strive to stand our ground. We need not be aggressive, but being assertive is the right thing to do. I have enough passive agressive people in my life...I won't be another one.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-20983430842169108932013-04-04T16:38:00.000-06:002013-04-04T16:38:03.899-06:00Forgiveness begins with me<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg68jJ_5Xhv7Kh2wN2EZi3Z-liKZrrMIEdfkL-rfhyphenhyphenY0NUHY2xZVXWtAPsGh_IFFFbIEREEpFoJtU0djXkW7zRa0UlMer4CBAmSlvdKwfsHQfIh7JvrB5BmPEJ6Kz0-CDyaXxkSsaWqdg4/s1600/lds-pix1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg68jJ_5Xhv7Kh2wN2EZi3Z-liKZrrMIEdfkL-rfhyphenhyphenY0NUHY2xZVXWtAPsGh_IFFFbIEREEpFoJtU0djXkW7zRa0UlMer4CBAmSlvdKwfsHQfIh7JvrB5BmPEJ6Kz0-CDyaXxkSsaWqdg4/s400/lds-pix1.jpg" width="280" /></a></div>
<br />
I have a firm belief that we are the kindest to those around us (generally speaking) whom we do not know well. "Put your game face on", "Protect yourself". I believe it's about self-preservation as well as insecurity as to what others might think of us. <br />
<br />
I have found in the last 17 years though being a wife and a parent that the ones who matter most are the ones we are closest to. We do not choose our blood relatives, but when it comes down to the wire, blood really is thicker than water. I realize by breaching this topic, others may not agree and have chosen "alternative families". I am not judging or condemning that. I am simply stating that kindness begins with us and those who reside in our inner circle. If we are unkind to family members, how genuine is our kindness to others? I find it difficult sometimes to be kind every second of every hour of every day to my family because they are always around.<br />
<br />
I think forgiveness on our part is something everyone is worthy of. But we must practice it with those closest to us so that we can extend that great love to others. <br />
<br />
We tend to be the harshest and most judgmental about our family members; knowing their weaknesses, seeing them often, perhaps blaming them for our character flaws because we are related to them and there may be past wounds that have yet to heal. <br />
<br />
I believe that if we cannot truly forgive our family, we will have a much more difficult time forgiving others. <br />
<br />
I simply ask and challenge you to have the courage to forgive those around you. This begins with an honest look at what part you may have played in contributing to the (perhaps) fragile state of your relationship. There are always three sides to every story: My side, your side, and the truth. We all live in some form of altered reality and tell ourselves what we want to hear. <br />
<br />
There are people I have absolutely no desire to allow into my life because of past experiences, but if I allow hatred, bitterness, or anger to dictate my actions, I am the one who pays the ultimate price.<br />
<br />
Try to fix what you can: first in your own family relationships, then branching out to others. When we have wronged someone, we should be honest about it. I've always said that just because you've been hit by a train, doesn't mean you have to stand on the tracks waiting for it to happen again, but does that mean that if we see that same person who ran us over on those tracks, we should not try and help? I believe true forgiveness is honesty, clarity, and compassion; even empathy.<br />
<br />
You may not have the chance for closure on past relationships, but knowing you've done all you can and that you have truly forgiven: you are absolved and it no longer has anything to do with you. <br />
<br />
Our biggest mistake (especially as women- but across the board) is holding on to what others have done and not accepting responsibility freely for our part. I believe that in only concentrating on our part in a falling out, a hurt, a judgement, we have absolved ourselves of any wrong doing (in our heads). <br />
<br />
We also justify our anger by blaming others for what they have done to us. This is merely deflection and has no barring on our ability to forgive and move forward. <br />
<br />
I think we have three main reasons we are angry at others:<br />
<br />
1. They did something valid that hurt us or a loved one.<br />
2. They did something that perhaps reminds us of past or current weaknesses in our own lives and deflecting that onto someone else is easier than dealing with the fact that we are not perfect.<br />
3. We so badly want to believe we have done "the lesser wrong" and hold on to that anger in order to justify our own behavior.<br />
<br />
Forgiveness is not easy. Pride gets in our way too often; and so do other people. We listen to idle gossip, we participate in it, we blame others for our own mistakes, we lie to ourselves justifying our own behavior, and on and on.<br />
<br />
Being with my family this week helped me realize that it's the most difficult to be the kindest and most forgiving of those closest to us. Have I been hurt? Of course. Does that mean I cannot forgive? Absolutely not. Am I to blame if I cannot forgive or hold a grudge? Yes. Is it my responsibility to try my upmost to right a wrong? Without question. <br />
<br />
Forgiveness is about us (and I personally believe that my Savior- Jesus Christ has a huge part in giving my anguish to Him). Forgiveness doesn't have to be a two-way street, but we must be sure that our path is clear and no hazards lie in our way of letting things go. <br />
<br />
Forgiveness is a choice, just like every other thing we deal with in life. I am not saying that depression, homosexuality, addiction, illness, or any of the other things we deal with as human beings are choices...but how we deal with those things in our lives is a choice. We can either have a positive attitude or a negative one. That IS our choice. Agency is a huge part of our accountability. We can make our own choices. We can CHOOSE to react with negativity or with kindness. <br />
<br />
I grow weary of the plight: you hurt me and my anger is justified. Seriously? There comes a time when everyone must drop it, let it go, give it to the Savior, whatever your process is so that it no longer weighs you down into the gulf of misery and endless woe. <br />
<br />
I truly believe "justified anger" is a tool that is used to bog us down. We can either lift the weight, or keep it on top of us crying that this huge weight is there and that's why we are bitter, angry, vengeful, and all sorts of other things.<br />
<br />
I will simply conclude with a short experience (yep- putting something very personal out there). I was viciously attacked by someone with no courage. They attempted to cause discord, ruin my reputation and standing, and who knows what else. I cannot begin to imagine the kind of darkness that must dwell in the heart of the person who attacked my character. I was most fortunate to have a very supportive family as well as supportive people who were the recipients of this "attack". I put it in quotes because really, it was desperate. It was vengeful. That affects their hearts in the end, but it doesn't have to affect mine. Unqualified accusations and attacks on my character make me sad. But I am even more saddened by whomever would choose to go to such great lengths to "try" and ruin my reputation as a blogger, a mother, a wife, a person. <br />
<br />
Whoever you are...I forgive you. My heart truly breaks for your anger and sorrow. Your attempts to try and ruin anything in my life were futile and unfounded. I pray for you. I truly cannot understand such vindictiveness; it's truly beyond my comprehension. Perhaps, one day, if I have chosen the wrong path, I will be able to have empathy, but as of now I only have sympathy for your desperate actions. <br />
<br />
Forgiveness begins with me and ends with me. I will always love. I do not hate one person in this world. I may disagree, be a little sore from wounds inflicted, or wander with a lack of understanding; but I am truly grateful that HATE does not reside in my heart and pray it never will. <br />
<br />
My two centsJaninehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-55128343712905855582013-03-28T09:34:00.000-06:002013-03-28T09:34:45.108-06:00Happy 200th Post!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRySXGLilWWUdDESbmTwm3yWEtTMCB9rDOQY1aMkoUqRCLZuvxydUZloqCAUYvf_DOwM718SCP0UK6eHHjTCOuGsmy_CFLbA6d5xoP9AUz22THdmwulNQwZk8w1kqJXbCHO_oPWaIm5_c/s1600/sunflowers+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRySXGLilWWUdDESbmTwm3yWEtTMCB9rDOQY1aMkoUqRCLZuvxydUZloqCAUYvf_DOwM718SCP0UK6eHHjTCOuGsmy_CFLbA6d5xoP9AUz22THdmwulNQwZk8w1kqJXbCHO_oPWaIm5_c/s400/sunflowers+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I can't believe that this blog is 5 years old and I am now posting my 200th post! I have shared many personal experiences as well as practical etiquette advice not only with you as a collective group, but have had so many wonderful personal experiences due to this blog.<br />
<br />
I started this blog for me, to do have something all my own. It's difficult to decide where I go from here. Although it's an etiquette and manners blog, I feel that there is so much more to being a lady, a classy woman, than good manners. j'adore fashion and all things elegant...but I can also shop at Target with the best of them!<br />
<br />
"Cost and worth are very different things" quoted from one of my favorite movies "Confessions of a Shopaholic". Probably because I can relate to Rebecca Bloomwood in SO many ways. <br />
<br />
The world does feel better when I've just brought home bags of goodies, but then when I need a pick-me-up, I go shopping again. I find it fascinating that in society, one who has the financial means to shop is considered eccentric, idolized, fun to watch. But when there isn't the financial backing, it's a problem. So interesting how society looks at those things. I find it similar to eating...if you're thin you can eat whatever you want (if you have the disposition to not gain weight), but for those who do (I am one of them), we are looked at in a positive light as long as we stay thin, but if we gain weight, it's frowned upon and our eating habits are taken into question.<br />
<br />
If we have a special flare for a particular thing, talent, whatever you want to call it; we will always have those who appreciate what we do and we will always have the haters, no matter how much we would like that not to be the case. <br />
<br />
I have learned the following lessons, particularly in the last five years:<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>You CANNOT control other people, you can only control yourself</li>
<li>What others think about you is really none of your business</li>
<li>The more success you have, the more people will not like you (true especially of women)</li>
<li>Not everyone is going to like you</li>
<li>Always follow the Golden Rule; it will not always work out how you would like, but at least you know you are treating others as you would want to be treated</li>
<li>Forgiveness is within yourself, it has nothing to do with anybody else</li>
<li>Sometimes the things that bother us the most about other people are because: 1. We see those faults in ourselves 2. We have overcome those faults and it annoys us to see others not overcome them 3. We have had a bad experience with a particular trait that someone may possess and we have no trust or tolerance for their behavior 4. We are justifiably angry. Often times the finger you are pointing at others needs to be turned right back around and pointed at yourself.</li>
<li>I cannot and do not define myself by what my house looks like, my waist line, my children's hair, or any other temporal thing, and have come to feel sad for those who do. </li>
<li>I have to be careful to not throw out the word "etiquette expert"(even though it's usually others who do that without my prompting) because it leaves me open for attack.</li>
<li>I am not a self proclaimed anything...except a Daughter of God, a Wife to a truly amazing man, and a mother of four phenomenally talented and beautiful children.</li>
<li>Success is not an external thing...and those who mistake that and brand their success with their "stuff" will just end up unhappy in the end; we must be joyful during our journey, not looking at the finish line.</li>
<li>I've learned that I'm okay, and so is everybody else. Not perfect, but okay, self assured, complete through Christ, at peace.</li>
</ul>
<div>
Those are all the things I can think of when I reflect back on this blog and the lessons I've learned from it specifically. I have other life lessons I've learned but choose not to air any personal details (other than the ones I have shared in the past) because it's really only my business. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am grateful to all those who enjoy what I put out, whether in written form or on TV. I am grateful that this blog has opened doors for me that I never thought would even be there. I am excited for what has yet to come and hope that all of you will come along for the ride!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
**oh, and I chose sunflowers because they are my favorite. One of my favorite moments was stopping in a Sunflower field in the south of France and taking in the joy and glory of this wonderful flower that follows the sun; willing to bend and move in order to follow the light. My aspiration.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My two cents</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-49221983237287932002013-03-23T14:27:00.000-06:002013-03-23T14:27:56.409-06:00My new crush<div style="text-align: center;">
Here is my latest crush. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEjZv8RjEWPmNlm966h7DJDg1bFbb2-cFeU-NjqQnIdypwPtrAScCsosme7NGgL49DfHilvugDn-jsrfIZa0pMKouyRXl-WMzvNoWOigf0cdZFGOK14vbNLXGyVxBlPNW9jygCNgWSfp0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-03-20+at+10.58.22+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEjZv8RjEWPmNlm966h7DJDg1bFbb2-cFeU-NjqQnIdypwPtrAScCsosme7NGgL49DfHilvugDn-jsrfIZa0pMKouyRXl-WMzvNoWOigf0cdZFGOK14vbNLXGyVxBlPNW9jygCNgWSfp0/s400/Screen+Shot+2013-03-20+at+10.58.22+AM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I don't know that my hubby approves of these crushes that I have. I become a little involved with these things and tend to think about them probably a little more than one should. Then, when at last they are mine, life can go back to normal and I'm okay; until I see something else I like. My favorite personal shopper Hernan doesn't help either when I hear his Siren call as he sends me the latest pics from the <b><a href="http://www.louisvuitton.com/">LV</a></b> Paris fashion show or calls me to see how I'm enjoying my latest piece or what major city I might be in next so I can tour the their flagship store. Evil...wonderful man!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This is the <a href="http://www.louisvuitton.com/front/#/eng_US/Collections/Women/Show-Spring-Summer-2013/products/Speedy-cube-PM-M48902"><b>Speedy Cube PM in Jaune</b></a>. It's from<b><a href="http://www.louisvuitton.com/front/#/eng_US/Collections/Women/Show-Spring-Summer-2013"> Louis Vuitton's Spring 2013 collection</a></b> which was 1960's inspired with all it's geometric shapes and colors. I loved the mod vibe and am in LOVE with this bag! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I'm not into the whole Polyvore thing necessarily. But I could just see this pairing so fantastically with a pair of skinnies, some beige flats (pointed toe), and a flowered print shirt with emerald drop earrings. Yummy!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-27497114751565756672013-03-19T22:20:00.001-06:002013-03-20T10:19:18.067-06:00The message gets lost in the text...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgavTmmrrelGJqR33z8oHm_O0rjxsNop8hAJSqOpt9M77PoMn4kYkCP0jrNvAx0PnRBvDevT4lFHYpd3Hk6WAdZPI5bcr26K-l1wic9riSCdHypqCXXrZFGO6MoC4wIy8W0a9GLdznLdmM/s1600/iphone-4-texting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgavTmmrrelGJqR33z8oHm_O0rjxsNop8hAJSqOpt9M77PoMn4kYkCP0jrNvAx0PnRBvDevT4lFHYpd3Hk6WAdZPI5bcr26K-l1wic9riSCdHypqCXXrZFGO6MoC4wIy8W0a9GLdznLdmM/s400/iphone-4-texting.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have posted almost 200 times and still have so much to learn. It seems the more I learn, the less I know. I had an interesting experience that I will vaguely share with you in hopes of saving you what my humanity cost me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I texted someone in hopes of opening a dialogue. It was a more serious text (faux pas #1- It should have been a phone call). When I received a text back that was less than cordial, I responded with what I thought was a rational, non emotional text (faux pas #2- should have called or shouldn't have responded at all). The final blow came when the incoming message was a personal (and professional) attack having little to do with my original message and quite frankly was very rude. THEN I tried to call?! Didn't work. Too little. too late. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I say over and over that I am not an etiquette or manners expert. What is an <b><i>expert</i></b>? The dictionary defines an expert as: <span style="color: #212121;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><i><b>a person who has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or skill in a particular area</b>. </i> Well okay. I have comprehensive knowledge in the particular area of etiquette and manners. However, I am flawed, make mistakes and faux paus like everyone else; except it seems I am judged more harshly because I am an "etiquette expert" or "etiquette blogger." Does this make me perfect?</span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;">My conundrum is that although I made a poor choice (or three), I am still a human being. We all are. Human beings need to communicate with their voices using tone and inflection. This is very difficult to do via text or email. Never end anything or say anything important via written communication. We do not live in the 1800's when this was the only form of communication available and interpretation was up to the reader. We have beautiful technology that allows us to communicate with our actual voices!</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;">I had an experience once where someone basically told me off via text (I guess this one makes 2) and it's gut wrenching to feel that this person cannot even speak to you on the phone and communicate. Try to never perpetuate the "<i><b>textversation</b></i>"(oooh- I think I'm coining that). If it seems that a written communication is getting heated, pick up the phone and call, or better yet, start out with a phone call. </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"> I don't love everybody and not everybody loves me. I am okay with that. I haven't always been okay with that. I am glad I am now. I would feel badly however if others couldn't learn from my fortunes and mishaps. </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;">I'm grateful I'm flawed and mess up (and try to be real about it). I'm grateful I have the opportunity to improve. I'm grateful most of all to those of you who know my heart and would understand exactly what I meant through a text. Those people are priceless to me. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Conditional love is just a waste of time.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;">Think before you hit send.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-22135480581286865152013-03-13T13:31:00.000-06:002013-03-13T13:31:27.111-06:00I can't take them anywhere!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCGvizDfFohNCJJdfoL4ZSoHYD1jebQxEjCWE79ZW19bl2juCh5pHv3Qvjd4dKsVbyq3KMxI6jwU1LNS2v8RUbc9gkjIIsfBfKzxYjmFfDQqrd_72hMVDQq_W8fepgbE69MEQeuNX6H2U/s1600/269350.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCGvizDfFohNCJJdfoL4ZSoHYD1jebQxEjCWE79ZW19bl2juCh5pHv3Qvjd4dKsVbyq3KMxI6jwU1LNS2v8RUbc9gkjIIsfBfKzxYjmFfDQqrd_72hMVDQq_W8fepgbE69MEQeuNX6H2U/s400/269350.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I remember (not so long ago) my husband not wanting to go out to eat with our children because he felt like they couldn't behave. They were young (four kids within 7 years) and although I thought well mannered, crazy nonetheless. <br />
<br />
I remember him saying, "we are not taking you to a restaurant again until you can learn better manners" which they did and we did. <br />
<br />
It's not always pleasant to sit next to the family with kids screaming for their dessert before their dinner, the kid who pops up from under your table when his is next to yours, or the constant badgering that goes on between parent and child while trying to enjoy a meal whether as a family, a couple, friends, or quietly by yourself.<br />
<br />
I worked very diligently with my children to teach them good manners and helped them to understand that eating out was a privilege, eating was a right. Once that concept melded into their little minds, they began to look at it as a treat, much like I did when I was young. I remember fancy dinners at lavish restaurants and being on my best behavior knowing that this was a privilege (although I always had to "use the restroom" to check it out...a fact my parents still tease me about because my girls do the same thing).<br />
<br />
Here is an article from <b><a href="http://www.findababysitter.org/">www.findababysitter.org</a></b> about how to help your children have good manners while dining out. It has great tips on making sure that you help them realize that this is a privilege for them and helps you take control. <a href="http://www.findababysitter.org/blog/how-to-get-your-kids-to-behave-in-a-restaurant/"><b> It can be found HERE. </b></a><br />
<br />
My best advice is to let your children know your expectations ahead of time and don't be afraid to enforce the rules. If they think you might be afraid to carry out your consequences (such as taking them out of the restaurant and going home), they will walk all over you. Follow through and consistency are tremendously important in helping your children learn responsibility. No one is perfect at it, least of all me, but we must get back on that proverbial horse and try, try again.Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-88671844485923813442013-02-08T15:23:00.000-07:002013-03-20T10:20:12.488-06:00A love letterNot an etiquette or manners topic. Just something on my mind. I really miss my best friend. We laugh together, we cry together (mostly I cry, she listens because she's the strong one), we shop together, we eat lunch together, we work out problems together, we are best friends.<br />
<br />
My best friend moved last August and I miss her. It's like someone took my left hand and won't give it back. I am left handed. She is always warm where she lives now and I'm looking at the snow outside wishing we still lived three minutes away from each other. One day I noticed I could even see my house from her back window. <br />
<br />
My best friend keeps things to herself when I tell her something. "In the vault" we call it. I respect that. I do the same for her. We are strong in different ways for each other. We are good examples for each other. We can be silly, loud, quiet, serious, spiritual, it doesn't matter because we are best friends. <br />
<br />
My mom always said if you can count the number of true friends you have on one or two hands by the end of your life, you have led a successful life. I feel I can do this already. I feel blessed. I still have one best friend; I don't have 16 or 28. I am a lot to take on as a friend, but I give back even more. I am a commitment, but I am committed. Not everyone can handle me, but she can. <br />
<br />
I love you, I miss you, I am grateful for you and grateful that we met and grateful to her for introducing us knowing we would be best friends. She was right.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Janine<br />
<br />
<br />Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-46832027386261330732013-02-06T13:56:00.000-07:002013-02-06T13:56:46.395-07:00Are you LDS?<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was on Studio 5 this morning (I will link to the video when it becomes available) but was fascinated not only by the conversation that took place but by the comments afterward on Studio 5's Facebook page. I was shocked to see how strongly people reacted for or against even talking about this, people saying "get over it", things like that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wonder, if we don't care, why say anything at all? The only topics I've ever commented on have been ones that I've actually had an opinion about. The fact that there are comments means that it's something people feel differently about and have differing opinions on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My article for this segment was as follows:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Don't Assume:</i></span></b></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Just because people live in Utah (or even in a city that is overwhelmingly LDS, don't assume the people you are speaking to are as well.</i></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Don't be afraid:</i></span></b></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Ask. Don't make it the first question that you ask after their name or an application they have to fill out to be a part of your life, but at some point in a conversation with someone new, ask them either if they are LDS or if they belong to an organized religion. If it doesn't come up in conversation, go back to rule #1.</i></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Be careful with your words:</i></span></b></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Most people have no idea what Mutual is, what a Ward is, or who a Stake President is, let alone all the other terms that may be unique to our religion. Be careful when speaking to people who are not of your faith that you don't use these words without explanation. I do believe this is a part of culture, not just a one day religion, so these words may naturally come up, but don't assume that the other person will know what you mean- so take the time to briefly explain- you might even have them respond with, "I know, I'm LDS" or " I know, I have Mormon friends" thus breaking the ice.</i></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Be respectful and kind:</i></span></b></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>If the point of manners is to help those around us feel comfortable, then we must do all we can to make that happen. We should never pre-judge a person because they are or are not LDS. My children have friends who are LDS and friends who are not. They have good friends- period. Their friends have good families. Be careful not to exclude on the basis that someone believes different things than you do, whahetever side of the fence you may be on.</i></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #000305; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't think this applies to "Mormons" in Utah only. This always applies. I have found myself in as many situations traveling and outside of Utah using this advice as I have in this state (maybe more, in fact). I find it so interesting that for a dull subject, or one that doesn't need to be spoken about, people have such strong words to share. </span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #000305;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">I have never backed down from a conversation where my faith is questioned (in a hostile or a friendly manner), but misconceptions are the biggest enemy and if people don't think they are rampant...they need to open their eyes. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #000305; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">I'm an open book. Always have been, always will be. But I don't believe in shoving my religion or beliefs down others throats. I also don't believe in tip toeing around things. I say things pretty much how they are (I say "pretty much" because I may choose a time that is appropriate or gage the temperature of my surroundings, but I think that's good manners no matter who you are or what you're talking about). </span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #000305; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Thank you Brooke, Darin, and Jane (and Chrissy) for allowing me the opportunity to speak my mind. I have an opinion just like everyone else. I am entitled to that. The only thing that makes mine unique is that I come from the perspective of trying to help others feel comfortable in my presence as a presiding factor in how I behave; but anyone who knows me knows that this does not mean I will not stand up for my beliefs at all times, in all things, and in all places.</span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #000305; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">My two cents</span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #000305; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1.143em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-37288572616709689352013-01-31T06:47:00.000-07:002013-01-31T06:52:56.386-07:00The age of entitlement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIOTGyjEvN8-wTd3_OVbWmJ3TXfxjleOl2Emh26xEbqMS3f55-PH3CdwC8iCfScMktk70PBFBIlPXra5z_yw1NGDcXlkbs94mrQ4Uffd9lKCUD5z3WzgYtzcHaL0vE7qNH1jkB1n8X2xQ/s1600/entitlement-540x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIOTGyjEvN8-wTd3_OVbWmJ3TXfxjleOl2Emh26xEbqMS3f55-PH3CdwC8iCfScMktk70PBFBIlPXra5z_yw1NGDcXlkbs94mrQ4Uffd9lKCUD5z3WzgYtzcHaL0vE7qNH1jkB1n8X2xQ/s400/entitlement-540x300.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't want to ramble (ha), but I wanted to address something that has been bothering me for some time. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The feeling or assurance that someone owes you something just because you walk on the earth is frightening to me. I have heard justifications for many things that are flat out wrong, but the most amazing part of it is that somehow (especially our teens and younger adults) seem to think it's okay to justify why they did something stupid by using the quip, "You deserved it" or "It's your fault". </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This post was prompted by a discussion we had with our oldest child (15 going on ??- depends on the day) but he's smarter than we are, he knows much more, and has obviously had life experience to teach him all he needs to know. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As I sat and listened to him last night go on about this and that (regarding us and our parenting; we're SO oppressive), I thought: this is a common theme I am seeing more and more; excuses for bad behavior pointed at others rather than at one's self. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am not a parent who thinks that I have done anywhere near a perfect job. I mess up a lot. I say I'm sorry A LOT. But what baffles me in general and not always concerning my child/children but more in society is that this behavior is more common than we'd like to think. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't think the welfare programs and other government funded programs would be taken advantage of the way they are if that sense of entitlement, "you owe us something, or everything" attitude were less rampant. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't have a perfect childhood, no one did. I don't believe however that my problems are someone else's fault. Most of the time I'm trying to figure out what I did to either contribute or cause a problem (although I've learned that some people will just take advantage of you if they have the chance no matter what). </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I found myself talking to my husband Sunday night about this very topic (which is wide spread and led to other side topics) but I've come to realize that being pliable, changeable for the good isn't a bad thing, if you know who you are in the first place and I think sometimes with all the distractions that we have in our lives, we ignore who we are, push that person aside, in order not to deal with the tough things in life. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All I can do is hope that I am teaching my children to take responsibility for their own actions, instead of playing the blame game (which is so much easier to do and such a cop out). We are responsible for ourselves and our choices, good and bad. I've made plenty of both. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As my son pointed out yesterday, "you're too open- you share too much with people mom; you're just going to get hurt". I'd rather be open and share too much than have a wall 100 feet high letting no one in because I feel like I'm better than another or afraid of getting hurt. I like to relate to people. I know I have a lot of growing to do, but I'm glad that I have a strong sense of self (even with my many insecurities-at least I know what they are and am willing to work on them). If we can be honest with ourselves, we will stop pointing the finger at others in blame, but instead take inventory of ourselves and how we can do better, be better. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My goal is to be more teachable, more humble, more forgiving, less judgmental (especially of myself), and open myself up to getting hurt but also opening myself up in hopes of great things to come. <a href="http://mormon.org/me/43XM/"><b>Knowing my divine identity</b></a> and that THIS is who I was meant to be (minus a few kinks), helps me move forward not with a sense of entitlement, but a sense of hope and humility- the enemies of entitlement. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My two cents</div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-9885939050800403502013-01-13T22:29:00.000-07:002013-01-13T22:29:10.376-07:00Enough PC bull already!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYGMtoxg6DtrkEh1N5hGg7Ucv0zwWFIJwzL8Sj5n8oBXLXT9KO8Wkchsrhq5jVVszbnWSuD5nBsiK2Ye8MZ_M_aLP7GHwXOR1u1q84ixen0KbhoatKGw-CUubYs5dzu_PVP6qoin5nYwk/s1600/aflag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYGMtoxg6DtrkEh1N5hGg7Ucv0zwWFIJwzL8Sj5n8oBXLXT9KO8Wkchsrhq5jVVszbnWSuD5nBsiK2Ye8MZ_M_aLP7GHwXOR1u1q84ixen0KbhoatKGw-CUubYs5dzu_PVP6qoin5nYwk/s640/aflag.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I grew up in a place (as many who will read this can attest) that was racially, financially, and morally diverse. I knew most of the people I went to school with, I was friends with all kinds of people, didn't judge, still don't, and lived my life. I am worried that we have gotten to the point that we are so afraid in this country to even say a name incorrectly (i.e. Native Americans vs American Indian or Indigenous- the last of which I would find insulting as it's vague). </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The turn I see happening in this great country of freedom is that instead of all of us being able to clearly, respectfully, speak our minds and come together, there is not only a clear division, but a shift in the chasm. I find that the way the media portrays things is slanted one way or the other to benefit their outlet, different groups refer to each other disrespectfully and without regard as human beings, adding to the violence and terrorism that is already rampant and at our front door. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This post was actually prompted by an article I read about putting President Obama's head on Mount Rushmore. I am not going to get into that- although I am conservative and I voted (very strongly) for Mitt Romney. The part that caught my attention was that there was a side article that mentioned that "we" the public should stop referring to our President as "Obama" but instead as "President Obama" as his title demands. The funny thing is, I don't remember calling "President Reagan" by his formal title, nor "President Bush". Does that mean I'm being disrespectful? I don't believe so. If I were to meet the President I would address him as Mr. President, but in conversation, in writing (formal or otherwise), as long as I'm being true to myself (in my case that means I will not be disrespectful to the leader of our nation), I feel that I can call him "Obama" and be just fine. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Any title is earned. By blood, sweat, and tears. By the respect of one's people. Those who feel it's inappropriate to address the President so informally when speaking about him, feel free to be as formal as you like. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The irony here, and this was my point in writing this...is that how can we be so concerned with titles and formalities when our families are falling apart, when the moral fiber of our country is hanging by a thread? How much longer can we point the finger elsewhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can worry all you want about whether to call those who originally settled this land now called America- Native Americans or American Indians....I will worry about whether my children know that I love them, that there is a God, that they are watching the correct material for their age, and that they are home every night for dinner. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not every family has to be like mine, and mine's not perfect...but stop getting so caught up in the less important things in life- the <i>political correctness</i>. Just because someone wins an award or a title, does not make him a great man- it is what he does with that power that makes him a great man, the difference is that it is a privilege that is earned, not a right that is given. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let's not worry so much about offending others by what titles are proper and completely politically correct to the point that we can't even speak or don't even know what to call each other...and concentrate more on loving each other- unconditionally. I am convinced if we do this, our country will become what it is destined to be; a great nation.</div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-10128416244396757352013-01-09T21:04:00.000-07:002013-01-09T21:04:34.427-07:00Home party central<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyq939mNzzaoeMuJnpnvyIGMfWS-LtDAe7TKa-Rjqvo5zQ8PZRBHXYYG3la6V0lzEa2xIQVKFsBPYKYntRAyg146lLUvsoN3_gEeAjAruTUjsrVL4n567O7f-RDL4SLQh1b9TTV_E-Xx0/s1600/2010_0727_ss_invite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyq939mNzzaoeMuJnpnvyIGMfWS-LtDAe7TKa-Rjqvo5zQ8PZRBHXYYG3la6V0lzEa2xIQVKFsBPYKYntRAyg146lLUvsoN3_gEeAjAruTUjsrVL4n567O7f-RDL4SLQh1b9TTV_E-Xx0/s320/2010_0727_ss_invite.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Utah seems to be a mecca for home parties...allowing for flexibility of women's hours and incomes as they strive to balance home, family, and income (whether primary or secondary). Supporting these parties is (in effect) like helping to support the family, however there should never be any pressure and if any of you are like my husband...the more the pressure comes out, the less interested he is (he HATES a pushy salesman- excuse the yelling). </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><a href="http://studio5.ksl.com/?nid=71&sid=23676832">We talked about it today on Studio 5 and I hope I given you some good suggestions.</a></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think the way that home parties (in my never-to-be-humble opinion) is that several vendors get together, staying there the entire time to represent their product. They will have better attendance, a more casual environment, and you might be pleasantly surprised at the increased sales from that low pressure, conversing, environment giving ladies a chance to talk about the different products and shop...a mall of home parties all in one location- something for everyone!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm not saying I have the answer, but I think far more people would prefer one stop personal shopping than one stop- one genre of product shopping. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My two cents</div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-68944621535484764132012-12-17T10:36:00.000-07:002012-12-17T10:36:32.993-07:00Gift Giving Guidelines<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh3RxgKFrORsVYAzM-_dyQQLsK4XKw6hJb3E0iYBjWGHzv9m2JKx-6vjQwiyzXN8XzSGBnYd8OwNfvdUVJ5_vX82F6u8TkTFxcCL7UERHDP7eXvE9UPqBe2JUtAJTNqaRNzuaE0MeHM94/s1600/christmas-gift_4171_1024x768.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh3RxgKFrORsVYAzM-_dyQQLsK4XKw6hJb3E0iYBjWGHzv9m2JKx-6vjQwiyzXN8XzSGBnYd8OwNfvdUVJ5_vX82F6u8TkTFxcCL7UERHDP7eXvE9UPqBe2JUtAJTNqaRNzuaE0MeHM94/s320/christmas-gift_4171_1024x768.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As the holidays are already upon us, I thought I would share my latest segment from Studio 5. I tried to come up with some simple solutions to gift-giving dilemmas which are particularly pertinent this time of year. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><a href="http://studio5.ksl.com/index.php?nid=121&sid=23272867">Here is the link to my video...I hope you enjoy!</a></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Most likely this will be my last post until after the holidays, so have a wonderful time being with loved ones and cherish the time you have together.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Much love</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
&</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My two cents</div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-20230042896170561162012-12-14T14:20:00.001-07:002013-01-09T21:05:26.005-07:00Fancy Friday: Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah?<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every year it becomes more and more complicated to wish someone glad tidings during this time of celebration for many cultures. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEG2Fe2RqrM__K8lfP-LE9DU1t8AUJIoIfxBuOthpprqk0dx7y_c_SaXegEjhTb8LnbByOoEQjOtVkEnZCDw8NRo2BNx8XykmgdmeYAmRAUug4yeQvmyUNlJ3bZxJBVs8tdttJwD0_sHE/s1600/christmas-tree1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEG2Fe2RqrM__K8lfP-LE9DU1t8AUJIoIfxBuOthpprqk0dx7y_c_SaXegEjhTb8LnbByOoEQjOtVkEnZCDw8NRo2BNx8XykmgdmeYAmRAUug4yeQvmyUNlJ3bZxJBVs8tdttJwD0_sHE/s320/christmas-tree1.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I believe we must be sensitive to other's beliefs, however, December 25th is Christmas for me and my family: a day to commemorate the birth of what Christians believe (as do I- being a Christian) was the day of Christ's birth on this earth; Christ being my Lord and Savior. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifSlldLCFlJhQbxXhrBbugevc_iaYepYjS3d9r6Py9EO2Z51uWl7MSGpzc48Gof_8jedHUawTRySlW2B7pNJK5AP03ekNXlgaI3TRIWC2O5DGXhmL8xE88QlnIGxTglN_B9I3oDm0BzpY/s1600/chanukah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifSlldLCFlJhQbxXhrBbugevc_iaYepYjS3d9r6Py9EO2Z51uWl7MSGpzc48Gof_8jedHUawTRySlW2B7pNJK5AP03ekNXlgaI3TRIWC2O5DGXhmL8xE88QlnIGxTglN_B9I3oDm0BzpY/s320/chanukah.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">Hanukkah is observed for eight nights and days, starting on the 25th day of </span>Kislev<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"> according to the </span>Hebrew calendar<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">, which may occur at any time from late November to late December in the </span>Gregorian calendar<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">. the Menorah has many symbolic meanings to the Jewish culture that are beautiful and spiritual.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">Kwanzaa</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"> is a week-long celebration held in the </span>United States<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"> (and more recently, </span>Canada<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">)</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">. The celebration honors African heritage in </span>African-American culture<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">, and is observed from December 26 to January 1, culminating in a feast and gift-giving. Much more is said about<b><u><a href="http://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org/index.shtml"> Kwanzaa here</a></u></b> that is profound and meaningful. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">My point in writing this post is to point out that we too easily get offended when one person says to </span><span style="line-height: 19px;">another (perhaps of different beliefs) Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays. I do not wish to take CHRIST out of Christmas, the very opposite. This is a time for my family that is very sacred to me, that I love and cherish every year. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I do realize (for all of you out there reading my blog) that this is an etiquette and manners blog, which is precisely why I am writing it. I think Emily Post herself would roll over in her grave. At no such time was there a belief that having good manners meant rolling over and playing dead so someone could walk all over us. I certainly am tired of doing that and refuse to allow it any further in my life. Call a spade a spade and lets keep it moving!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The fact that the White House called the Christmas Trees "Holiday Trees" this year is insulting. The very symbolism of the tree is for Christmas. Have A Menorah, symbols for Kwanzaa, different symbols for different cultures, but why call them Holiday trees when they are clearly Christmas trees? Does someone think they are not offending anyone by calling them holiday trees? I'm sad. The green nature of the tree represents evergreen- everlasting life- Christ. Missing the point? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I simply wonder if we must be so politically correct all the time? Yes, we do need to help others feel comfortable. But the other day I was speaking with my husband about a specific ethnic group of people and I couldn't even remember what the newest PC name was to refer to them by. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We did we become such and offended culture? One where perhaps when we are in the wrong, we seek fault in another to help ourselves feel better. My hubs was telling me about a HS <a href="http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/8738942/107-2-bloomington-south-girls-basketball-team-beats-arlington"><b>basketball game</b></a> the other day where a team beat another by some extraordinary number (107-2) and people were angry with the winning team for poor sportsmanship. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are in an age of entitlement. I found it, I keep it. You deserved it. It's all about me. I deserve a trophy for showing up. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I believe this sense of entitlement not only contributes to the moral decay of our society, but prevents people from learning how to treat others kindly, have good manners, and just plain be good members of society. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Please, during this time of year...no matter what you do or don't believe in; there is a special feeling in the air. Take time to reflect upon your actions, not the actions of others, and see how you can improve. Respect others and don't worry about being offended so much. Be proud of what you believe in. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I find it so sad that we live in a world where someone takes offense in how we greet them during this time of year. Find joy in the fact that they have beliefs wish them well. Faith is a blessing, not a curse.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Treat others as you would want to be treated. Be kind, be charitable, be sincere.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My two cents.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7647053364103621051.post-38609073795671062712012-10-22T14:22:00.001-06:002013-01-09T21:09:07.498-07:00I'm Janine, I've been through a lot...and I'm a Mormon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0t7fjWg-7OFWgxsrMHyeFK5GJxibV7Zrzh2c08M2BqCLMEGODtWnFJaOXqG5iMX2lEaP917rHi0vu8qSNTsUMJpx2I8mVFsewL61OPOyb7anLBI5W0JJz9MWtp7J_DFlrqowqu8VFxFA/s1600/Car+and+Cow+sign_thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0t7fjWg-7OFWgxsrMHyeFK5GJxibV7Zrzh2c08M2BqCLMEGODtWnFJaOXqG5iMX2lEaP917rHi0vu8qSNTsUMJpx2I8mVFsewL61OPOyb7anLBI5W0JJz9MWtp7J_DFlrqowqu8VFxFA/s400/Car+and+Cow+sign_thumb.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
We have gone through a LOT in the last 12 months. I have learned a lot. How I can do better and be better (a life long lesson) and many other things. Here are some of the preparatory experiences I had to help me get to this place. **Warning** if offended easily- skip this post. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />April- Son collapsed during basketball practice. Raced to the ER. Husband in Texas. They had to restart his heart. ER doc told him to return to normal activity (oops). Had heart surgery in May. Fixed the problem as much as it can be fixed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
August- T boned by a car running a red light while being distracted*. Totaled our big Suburban like car. Hurt a lot...various injuries, surgery for a family member in the car in the near future. Family traumatized and my sweet 15yo doesn't want to drive...ever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
October- diagnosed with cancer (me). Shocked, sad, numb. Hopeful and not angry at God. Surgery to remove the piece on my face (nice scar in the middle of my forehead (or will be a scar when it heals). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
I can't think of what else has happened. I know there has been some other stuff...but frankly these our the top three in the last six months. It's made me realize who my true friends are and who they aren't. Thank you for reaching out true friends when life got hard...and I feel sad for those who were wolves in sheep clothing. I'm Shocked frankly that people can't put aside whatever their stuff is and just be kind human beings. I guess that's asking too much of some. That is what can truly make us great; setting ourselves aside for others. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
I have learned that no matter how well you prepare yourself, things always hit you upside the head when you least expect it. I've learned that the precious moments with my babies and kissing their faces (no matter how old) are moments I will treasure forever. I've learned that I don't care if my house is clean or not. I love it clean, but it doesn't make or break who I am. I've learned I know who I am and while I know that is an eternal process, I can say with confidence that I know a lot about myself and I like me. I have learned that caring about other people's stuff (negatively anyway) is a waste of my energy, spirit, and health. I've learned that our time on this earth is just a speck. I've learned that it takes far less energy to love than to hate. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
I am so thankful for my belief. I believe I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and is aware of Janine. I have a Savior who knows me better than I know myself and knows every single pain, disappointment, and heartache I go through. I know that my family will continue past this life if I try to live my best life. To learn more about what I believe and what keeps me from giving up...<b><a href="http://www.mormon.org/">click here</a></b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This post has nothing to do with manners. It's just a bit more about me. I apologize if it comes across selfish. I love what I do and it is never work because I love it. Thank you for making my "job" so easy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My two cents.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">*texting? No skid marks.... </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> </span>Janinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08734327847680153065noreply@blogger.com0