Oh Baby!

Let me just say that in the last few hours I have never had so much hate enter my life.  Thank you to all who have taught me how to properly tweet a hate message, how to Facebook a hate message, and how to email a hate message; I appreciate the education.  For the rest of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, let me share.  I was asked to appear on my local TV station, which, if you are a follower, you know I do once in a while.  But this was different.  I was asked by the host of the normal morning show that I appear on if I would to a special piece called "Family Focus" that was to air on the 5:00 news- goin' Prime Time baby!  Of course I was thrilled at the prospect and would never turn Brooke down (loves her).

I went at 12:15 (which is the middle of the school day and Liza was getting out early from a field trip so it was an extra special effort to make it up to the big city).  We chit chatted a while and when it was finally time to film, we did a couple of takes for my first "faux pas" of pregnancy etiquette- which was all based on a Today Show Producer who as up in arms over people touching her tummy while she was preggers.  I agree that it's a violation of her privacy and asked people not to do that as part of my top three no-no's.  Next I suggested that people stay away from asking couples or single adults when they will start a family (contentious I think) because it's no one's business!  Third I tackled what was obviously a beast and possibly the cause of future panic attacks- Breastfeeding in public!


Being a mommy of four and having nursed all my babies until well after one (almost two for most)- I'm an advocate and thank my mom and sisters for leading the way...but I have to say, I don't think I ever saw their goods, even though I was around my sister all the time when she was raising her five children.

Anyway, I suggested (as you can see in the video that I LINKED TO HERE) that I suggested that ladies should cover up.  OH BOY (yes I yelled)- this was a huge misjudgment in wording I suppose.  I don't know if I would have said it differently?  I guess I could have said "be discrete" but I probably would have gotten just as many haters.  You would have thought that I had just said that I hated all moms who breastfed, that I thought they were all awful for showing up in public, that they should be ashamed of themselves, and never again show their faces (isn't that what I said?)- Oh wait- NO!  I said that WE should cover up when in public places and when others besides immediate family (or others close to us- who I'm sure we can gage) are around in order to not make others feel uncomfortable.  I was speaking from personal experience.

Not too long ago we were with friends in Hawaii and while waiting outside for a table for dinner, I turned around to see a woman taking down the spaghetti strap of her dress to pull out her melon (watermelon) sized bare breast to feed her child in front of about 65 of us all waiting for this sushi place to open (you know the one I'm talking about on Maui?)- She was completely bare chested- there was no place to turn, she was on display for all to see.  There were several other benches in that strip mall, I know because my friend and I had just checked out a few of the other shops.  I did not wish for this sweet woman to be ashamed of her body, her baby, or breastfeeding, I just wanted her to take it somewhere a little more intimate so that just her and her baby could enjoy it.

That is all I'm saying people!  If you're wearing a sweatshirt already and you can't see anything, then you don't need to cover up, do you- which is why I said in the article, figure out what's best for you- I'm not the breastfeeding manager of you all!

I don't think I'm asking too much here or that it's bad manners.  I think it's good manners to make others comfortable.  Etiquette is simply more formal customs, so it doesn't really apply, but manners do.  When thinking of good manners, I will not give up my life, but I will consider others when making a decision on whether or not to expose my body in front of other people to feed my child when to solution is simple and when I know that will make other people feel uncomfortable, I am more than happy to retire to a bench more secluded in the mall, a restaurant booth, or one of many other locations.

I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying it doesn't take practice, but when I am accused of being discouraging to women who may want to breastfeed, or my words keeping them from breastfeeding altogether- I find that accusation harsh, unfounded, and unjust.

That's my two cents (and that's all it is!)

Janine