What do I mean?

My Madelyn woke up this morning and stated that snow hated her and that it was meant for January, not MAY!  She very emphatically stated that she was ready for Summer; she's not alone in that sentiment.

Like one of my followers (and friends) said this morning, "It's May, time for @thepinkteapot to blog..."

I appreciate being missed.  I didn't realize it had been a month since I last posted, but it's been a crazy month with Spring break, family issues, and just LIFE.  

I am excited for the warm weather, for the pool to be opened (hopefully this week...sans snow), and for the kids to be out of school (although I don't know that I am as excited as they are).  

My next segment for KSL has to do with Summer and family.  I am curious and will be asking for input on my FB fan page.

I am dancing around a subject here, actually running away from it.  I find this blog to be cathartic in many ways and feel that this is a venue where I may share whatever I deem appropriate.  

I will not go into details for privacy's sake...but suffice it to say that I had a health scare with someone close to me.  My initial reaction (before going to be by their side in another state) was to post something simple on FB asking for prayers.  I believe in the power of prayer. 

Five minutes later I got a call from someone else close to this person (but with no greater say in caring for or nurturing this person) telling me to take down the post, it was too private and/or too soon to say anything.  I respect and love this person and did what was asked.  After, not very long after, I consulted my wise husband.  He told me that in this case, prayers and a general note was in order (and he's never on FB and is very private).  I felt the same way; power in numbers.  Blessings came from that five minutes and I believe this loved one was helped and blessed in part due to my gift of over-sharing. 

The part I resented was being told what I could and could not post on FB that directly affects my life.  Other people's business is other people's business- but this was mine.  I ended up asking the loved one who was ill if they had a problem with my post; they did not at all and appreciated the effort.

 Instead of being angry that perhaps some micromanaging had taken place (and some dominion that was unnecessary and inappropriate), I had allowed it.  

I shortly after that chose to assert myself and let that person know how I felt about things like that in general.  In this particular case, my FB rule still applies: if you wouldn't tell it to an acquaintance, don't tell it on FB.  This is something I would tell an acquaintance, and have, and since I'm the etiquette blogger (although not an expert)- I might know what I'm talking about sometimes.  I still have the right to be my own person and make my own decisions as an adult and be treated with respect.

Taking down that post was frustrating and I felt belittled and scolded.  I chose to feel that way.  No one can make me feel inferior without my consent; and I gave it.

In the end, I will remember to stand up for what I believe is right, regardless of what others may say or do; that's integrity and courage.  It's important to remind ourselves that we have those qualities or the potential to develop them as we strive to stand our ground.  We need not be aggressive, but being assertive is the right thing to do.  I have enough passive agressive people in my life...I won't be another one.

"I'm in the hospital for a baby" etiquette...?

Yes, I do realize the title of this post is not grammatically correct (disclaimer), but it works for my purposes.  

In honor of a dear friend who just had a baby, I'm going to talk about Hospital Etiquette when someone is going to or has had a baby.  I realize this is a sensitive subject and everyone is so different that there is no possible way to appease everyone, but I will try.

For the Mom's to be:

• This time is about your experience, your laboring to bring a life into this world.  It's a time that cannot be re-created or re-experienced.  You get one chance to spend time with the ones who are caring for you during labor and then with your sweet baby after delivery- remember that.
• It's okay to say no.  There is no cause to be rude.  Although sometimes we have people in our lives who are pushy or overstep their bounds, we can plan ahead, thus helping to minimize the "drama", let me explain:  the day you are in labor is the wrong day to discuss with your mother-in-law that you'd rather she not be in the room as you're delivering your baby.  Think ahead of people who you need to discuss this with and have a candid conversation with them.  If you are unable to do so in person (because of fear or logistics), a sweet email, filled with excitement about the new baby and a clear invite or boundary given, will help ease that tension.
• You need your rest:  This is more than an etiquette tip, it's advice from a mother of four.  I so enjoy company and love people, but the 48 or so hours we spend in the hospital with a newborn baby combined with the annoying (but necessary) interruptions of the hospital staff, do not create a restful environment to begin with.  Mix in all kinds of visitors and you're even more exhausted when you come home even if you thrive on people like I do. 

For the Visitor (family or otherwise):

• Please respect that it is not the end of the world if you are not there for the actual labor and delivery of your grandchild.  Although I understand it may feel that way, it's simply not the time to be imposing on another person.  I remember my sweet mother-in-law and I having conversations about this when I was pregnant with my first child and I remember her being so respectful of my wishes.  I actually wanted her there just after, and we told the family we'd call them.  My husband's family as well as mine respected that and we had all of our family around us within hours of my son's debut into this world.  
• Please don't ask if you can be there during labor and delivery- and don't just show up.  Again, this is a private thing, a painful thing, a wonderful thing.  There are so many emotions wrapped up into this event that make it special.  It should not be intruded upon by someone else, no matter who that person is.
• Don't get your feelings hurt.  My wise mother always says, "remember it's not about you, it's about them".  I am a tender-hearted person and I wear my heart on my sleeve, so I understand getting my feelings hurt, but this is not about you, this is about the person who is holding that little bundle of joy...remember that.
• Don't assume and bring children.  It's always best to not bring children to the hospital for so many reasons.  They press the call buttons, run around, bring germs along with their sweet faces...none of these things are appreciated.  A visit can always wait until they get home from the hospital so you can find someone to tend to your children to go and visit the baby and mother.

This by no means covers all things, but here are a few ideas.  I love to hear all about your experiences and the suggestions that you have to help.

Hospital Etiquette-up close and personal

Any of you who have read my posts know how close I am to my mother. She recently has had major surgery and therefore I have not had time to write (I have had many thoughts on travel etiquette again, but these things trump them). I hope you will forgive my lack of posts this week, as I realize there has been silence for an entire week now, I do apoligize for that, I love to keep this blog up and I love to hear back from you, my readers...thank you all for your kind and sincere comments.

While flying to be here before the surgery, I anticipated many things, but one thing I had not anticipated, was how we were going to be treated at the hospital. I have had experience where this is concerned and realize of course that no one is perfect, but I was shocked to have the following experience (much abbreviated for your convenience).

We were not updated on my mother's condition while in recovery from major surgery for several hours and she had major complications last time with the same outcome, so I was thinking we were in for a repeat performance. Despite repeated and patient attempts to acquire knowledge as to my mother's well being, we had no information and waited literally four hours for information that should have come within half of an hour.

When entering ICU, she was attended to by nurses, understandably, but after not knowing how she was, I was waiting outside the room, being gently nudged by a very kind ICU nurse, to go and give my mom a hug. As I entered my mother's room, I was greeted with hostility by these two nurses who not only wanted me to leave, but were so upset that I had dared say (earlier in the day) that communication had been poor. There was no apology, no sympathy (forget the empathy), just arrogance. Now, I have had enough experience with this industry to understand (sympathize) with the difficulty of this situation and the gravity and enormity of their jobs, but it is not beyond anyone to be kind, I don't care what we've been through, we always have a choice...don't we.

I have found a great article that is linked to here and I'd love it if you took the time to read it and understand a little bit more about hospitals, how they're run, and how we can all do our part to make this a better experience for everyone, because we'll all find ourselves in one....one day, whether for ourselves or for a loved one.

I had the patient representative visit our room yesterday afternoon (I haven't explained a fraction of the neglect and rudeness that took place) and she said to me, "I'm amazed that you are so kind and caring, and so well-mannered, I'd be so mad right now, I wouldn't be nice to 'me'". I thought about that last night, she was so sweet and kind and even the "mean" people deserve my respect and I will use my manners no matter who I'm around because we learn by example and maybe one day, you can touch someone else's life.

Outside my mom's window yesterday morning, were the most beautiful camellias I've ever seen, that's why I have a picture of them, and I have very fond memories as a child of visiting gardens where they grow and flourish. Thank you mom for teaching me and letting me grow and flourish.