Don't judge me by my teacups

I love watching, reading, or hearing things that are uplifting and inspiring.  There are great sources out there that do just that, however, overwhelmingly, the media presented is not uplifting or inspiring.  I've always found it so odd that Facebook is supposed to be a social media platform to share insights with friends and family and I've always tried to honor doing that in the most honest and real way possible; neither editing out all our hardships or concentrating on them, but being real, as real as one can be behind a computer or phone screen.  

I've had people call me and ask me to take this or that down from my personal FB page, which is ironic because it is (as a wise friend described it) like my living room walls.  The pictures I hang don't have to be your favorites, but they reflect me as a person, sometimes they are masterpieces, other times they just have a special meaning to me and might seem worthless to the casual observer.  But the person who knows me well would look at my collection of teacups from all different times in my life and know what they are, and a few (a special few) might admire the teacups just because they're different and want to get to know me better.  The point is, don't judge me by my teacups.  They are an amalgam of special times and people, personal and special to me.  

I think it's easy to fall into a pattern where (especially as women) we feel the need to "only concentrate on the positive" when it comes to social media.  I personally choose to share snapshots of my life, whether the tough times or the triumphant times (sometimes those are one in the same).  Maybe it's too real for people.  I love the inspiring stories and videos, but I also believe I connect with people over social media in order to help facilitate better "in person" relationships, not to avoid them.  

This video recently on my FB feed seemed very appropriate and describes how I feel about social media (or anti-social media as they case may be).  Our experiences with social media will vary greatly just like our life experiences do.  I hope each of us can live life to the fullest and make sure that we always love the one we're with and not love our screens...they won't love you back.

The message gets lost in the text...

I have posted almost 200 times and still have so much to learn.  It seems the more I learn, the less I know.  I had an interesting experience that I will vaguely share with you in hopes of saving you what my humanity cost me.

I texted someone in hopes of opening a dialogue.  It was a more serious text (faux pas #1- It should have been a phone call).  When I received a text back that was less than cordial, I responded with what I thought was a rational, non emotional text (faux pas #2- should have called or shouldn't have responded at all).  The final blow came when the incoming message was a personal (and professional) attack having little to do with my original message and quite frankly was very rude.  THEN I tried to call?!  Didn't work.  Too little. too late.  

I say over and over that I am not an etiquette or manners expert.  What is an expert?  The dictionary defines an expert as: a person who has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or skill in a particular area.   Well okay.  I have comprehensive knowledge in the particular area of etiquette and manners.  However, I am flawed, make mistakes and faux paus like everyone else;  except it seems I am judged more harshly because I am an "etiquette expert" or "etiquette blogger."  Does this make me perfect?

My conundrum is that although I made a poor choice (or three), I am still a human being.  We all are.  Human beings need to communicate with their voices using tone and inflection.  This is very difficult to do via text or email.  Never end anything or say anything important via written communication.  We do not live in the 1800's when this was the only form of communication available and interpretation was up to the reader.  We have beautiful technology that allows us to communicate with our actual voices!

I had an experience once where someone basically told me off via text (I guess this one makes 2) and it's gut wrenching to feel that this person cannot even speak to you on the phone and communicate.  Try to never perpetuate the "textversation"(oooh- I think I'm coining that).  If it seems that a written communication is getting heated, pick up the phone and call, or better yet, start out with a phone call.  

  I don't love everybody and not everybody loves me.  I am okay with that.  I haven't always been okay with that.  I am glad I am now.  I would feel badly however if others couldn't learn from my fortunes and mishaps.  

I'm grateful I'm flawed and mess up (and try to be real about it).  I'm grateful I have the opportunity to improve.  I'm grateful most of all to those of you who know my heart and would understand exactly what I meant through a text.  Those people are priceless to me.  Thank you for loving me unconditionally.  Conditional love is just a waste of time.

Think before you hit send.