Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The message gets lost in the text...

I have posted almost 200 times and still have so much to learn.  It seems the more I learn, the less I know.  I had an interesting experience that I will vaguely share with you in hopes of saving you what my humanity cost me.

I texted someone in hopes of opening a dialogue.  It was a more serious text (faux pas #1- It should have been a phone call).  When I received a text back that was less than cordial, I responded with what I thought was a rational, non emotional text (faux pas #2- should have called or shouldn't have responded at all).  The final blow came when the incoming message was a personal (and professional) attack having little to do with my original message and quite frankly was very rude.  THEN I tried to call?!  Didn't work.  Too little. too late.  

I say over and over that I am not an etiquette or manners expert.  What is an expert?  The dictionary defines an expert as: a person who has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or skill in a particular area.   Well okay.  I have comprehensive knowledge in the particular area of etiquette and manners.  However, I am flawed, make mistakes and faux paus like everyone else;  except it seems I am judged more harshly because I am an "etiquette expert" or "etiquette blogger."  Does this make me perfect?

My conundrum is that although I made a poor choice (or three), I am still a human being.  We all are.  Human beings need to communicate with their voices using tone and inflection.  This is very difficult to do via text or email.  Never end anything or say anything important via written communication.  We do not live in the 1800's when this was the only form of communication available and interpretation was up to the reader.  We have beautiful technology that allows us to communicate with our actual voices!

I had an experience once where someone basically told me off via text (I guess this one makes 2) and it's gut wrenching to feel that this person cannot even speak to you on the phone and communicate.  Try to never perpetuate the "textversation"(oooh- I think I'm coining that).  If it seems that a written communication is getting heated, pick up the phone and call, or better yet, start out with a phone call.  

  I don't love everybody and not everybody loves me.  I am okay with that.  I haven't always been okay with that.  I am glad I am now.  I would feel badly however if others couldn't learn from my fortunes and mishaps.  

I'm grateful I'm flawed and mess up (and try to be real about it).  I'm grateful I have the opportunity to improve.  I'm grateful most of all to those of you who know my heart and would understand exactly what I meant through a text.  Those people are priceless to me.  Thank you for loving me unconditionally.  Conditional love is just a waste of time.

Think before you hit send.

1 comment:

O_o said...

Agreed. Even being the snail mail friend that I am. I'm just better at expressing myself in edited text than overly-emotional spoken word.
Wanda Mae