Friday, March 18, 2011

So many lessons to learn

I feel like in the last year I have been schooled!  I have learned so many different things, ranging from 'be careful who you allow to know anything about you- because some small piece of information can turn into a disaster' all the way to 'knowing how important my wonderful husband truly is to me and how important the covenants and promises are I made with him and God 15 years ago.'  

I am not going to get deep into the promises I made in my marriage today (much to your chagrin I'm sure) but I'd like to talk about the people we trust.  I wish in this case I was on iChat with all my Pink Teapot ladies and gents so that we could truly have a discussion about all the experiences you've had throughout your lives.  These are my pearls of wisdom for today.

At the beginning of these experiences, I was bitter and confused.  I thought that I had been so wronged, that no one deserved my trust again and I am the person who lets you run me over and then says, "please sir, may I have another?" So obviously these things really stung.  After some thought, a lot of prayer, and some serious reflection, I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't want someone to shut me out and never give me another chance, even if I had done something intentionally malicious (which is not in my nature- but anything is possible I suppose).  

I had to go through the process of truly forgiving others unconditionally.  

Here's my point.  We can't change anyone else, we can only change ourselves, so in trying to become our best selves, let's forgive quickly (which also means letting go of whatever that person has done to you), move forward with a better perspective on who you would like around you in the future, and remember that not everyone is going to be your "bestie".  Trials always help us see other's true colors and during any trial that you might face, there are those who will be fence-sitters, those who will run for the hills for fear of worldly judgement, and those who will stand for what they believe is right and true (that's called integrity just in case you're wondering)- but those people are few and far between which is why my wise mother says that you can count your "real" friends on one, maybe two hands your entire life.  These are the people who will truly take the time to get to know who we are as people and then defend us when we're not there to do it for ourselves.  They don't care if you're rich or poor, skinny or fat, what your hair looks like under your hat, or what your house looks like behind that door you're trying to keep closed as you tell people you're busy and to come back later.  These are the people we can be real with- we can say, "come on in" when it's all falling apart because we know they will love us anyway and more because of it...never judge us.  

How does this tie into good manners?  I think that anyone who wants to have good manners should learn every bit of info I've just put on this page and master it, goodness knows I have a long way to go.  Good manners come from within.  We can fake it all day long but our sincerity or lack-thereof will always scream louder than what we are saying.

I love you my friends, you know who you are. 

That's my two cents.


Melinda said...

You are an amazing person. I have been on both sides and it can be very hard to forgive sometimes but I do know that when I do I feel so much better. I don't know how people can go through life holding grudges, bitterness and anger. It eats away at me and in the end it was always "easier" to let go and forgive. A soft heart is always better then a hard one. Thanks for your thoughts

Julie said...

Love you too!