A difference of "opinion"

My husband is in the Multimedia field. When people ask me what that means, I say, "he gets to do everything: photography, building websites from the ground up, video/video editing, print work, logos, everything design" you name it, if it's in the realm of multimedia design, he gets to play. One of the advantages of working with a team is that he has tech writers with whom he works. These tech writers are professionals who specifically have English or more specified degrees for which they went to school so that they could learn the English language and be masters at it. The funny thing is that he'll come home after building copy for something and it's standard to run it by at least two tech writers. Each writer will have a different opinion on what is correct and what is not correct (a few commas here, a semi colon there, etc), I thought that was funny- especially when you read later.

I profess to be no such master of our language, however I do know that I seldom go around spewing words that I've looked up just to look smart. I use words that come naturally to me, and if they have not become integrated into my vocabulary by some outside source (my family, reading, ongoing education), they are foreign, but I do love to continue learning and I hope that I do not offend, I do my best to use no dramatic errors while writing or speaking.

This is a long-winded introduction to something that happened in the comments box exactly two months ago that sparked a little debate and I thought we should address it and here's why: If we have something negative or constructive to say to others, we should address it privately. It shows class and restraint. We should always think before we speak (or write). We should know what we're talking about if we are going to address a point. Lastly, we should always remember that it's always right to stand up for ourselves-we must stand up for ourselves. This does not mean being rude, but we should not allow ourselves to be run over at all (or any longer for some of us)- and that's not bad manners. We all have things in our lives that we should just let go, but if you can't let it go and it's just eating you up and you've allowed it to affect how you treat others (or that person) by all means, get it out of the way, but do it with respect...like my brother always says "Git R Done"!

So here's what happened- I wrote This post- and the first comment I got was this (verbatim mind you):

Janine-

I've always been interested in etiquette, and was pleased to stumble on your blog a few months back.

I've tried to ignore this, but unfortunately, I can't do so anymore--your egregious spelling/grammatical errors are, to my eyes, just as bad as having bridal shower guests self-address their own thank-you cards.

So I'm choosing to unsubscribe. I know this may make me seem like a jerk, but there's a disconnect here. I can't take someone seriously in this realm if they can't take the time to learn English properly.

If you agree, and want to address to problem, please consider asking someone to take a quick look over your blog-posts before they go up, or even hiring an editor. You'd do the same for a custom-printed wedding invite or a Christmas update letter, wouldn't you?

And here was my response about an hour later (after some thought):

I appreciate that you have the time to go through my posts and find grammatical errors as well as the spelling errors that my spell check (which is not perfect) didn't happen to catch. Since The Pink Teapot is a blog and not a website, it was never intended to be professional. I have never gained profit of any kind, I have had no formal etiquette training (of which I make all my readers well aware), and I am the first to apologize for my shortcomings.

My grammar will never be perfect. My spelling may never be perfect (unless spell check becomes a little more sophisticated) and I may not have the time necessary to edit my posts as I would like because my main dedication is to my family, first and always.



So while I appreciate all forms of communication on this blog as they may help me improve, in the future, should you have a truly constructive criticism, email it to me instead of leaving it with a name only in a comment box.



Good luck in your endeavors and I hope you find another etiquette source that meets your criteria. To avoid offending you in the future, I might suggest that you purchase a professionally edited book.

Janine

This communication was followed by a series of comments by a few of my wonderful readers (a few of whom were truly ticked off), but after I thought about what I wanted to say, I wrote a well thought out response that I thought was neither belligerent or reactive. That's how I'd like to think I live my life, although I know I fall short. For you new-comers, please know that The Pink Teapot will never be perfect, but that my heart will always be in it, and for you stalwarts, thank you for sticking with me even in the summer craze, it will probably always slow down for me in the summer as long as I have children home.

I hope that this communication helps you all in your day-to-day struggles dealing with people who just can't help themselves. We all have people in our lives like that, don't we. Have a fabulous weekend.