Saturday, May 2, 2009

I've said this before...who's not reading this blog!

So I was listening in on a conversation the other day that went something like this:  "Wow!  you look so uncomfortable and you're huge, are you due to have that baby yet?"  I just about died!  The Momma-to-be was dressed all cute and even went to the extra effort to wear lots of jewelry as to bring the eyes upward!  There were many things that any person could have sincerely complimented her on.  My biggest surprise was to watch this continue throughout the day.  What are we not understanding people?  It's a virtue to be honest and we must be, but we must also find something sincere to compliment others about.  What pregnant woman feels so skinny and hot at 8+ months pregnant?  Very few would be my guess and if you do, more power to you!  I have posted about this because it seems that every time I'm around a pregnant person, they get someone making a remark like that, which is simply inexcusable.  So, let's go through it...compliment them on how they're glowing, their jewelry, their other cute kids, an accessory that they might be wearing, the way they smell, or simply tell them how happy you are to see them!  There, I've given you several possibilities and alternatives.  Now, my suggestion is to send this post to all your friends via the little envelope at the bottom of this post so that all our friends and family get the hint!  I am simply fed up with this for all my lovely pregnant friends' sake.  Here's my other post on pregnancy.

I personally cannot physically have children anymore, a decision that was painful and really not mine.  I would take pregnancy any day!  Pregnant women have done something beautiful and great and I hope we can all be more sensitive to that in the future.  I was perhaps a little passionate in my delivery of this post, but I hope I get the loving point across!

Oh, and in addition to this, I'll be posting about how to act in the hospital when a family member or friend has a's and don'ts.  Look out for that one.


Andrea said...

Thanks a million for this post! At 8 months pregnant, I have been shocked by how many people at work and church walk right up to me and immediately make rude comments about my size.

Woman Interrupted said...

I'm almost five months not huge yet, but feeling it!

I have appreciated several recent compliments on my new look; who doesn't need an occasional sincere compliment, especially a pregnant woman!?

And besides, with our hormonal in-balance, us pregnant woman are liable to give an insensitive commenter an earful!

Jessica said...

I have had 2 children and am not currently pregnant but I too appreciated your post. I can not tell you how many times, while pregnant, I wanted to punch someone's face in for making a not-so-thoughtful comment. Being pregnant is quite possibly the most selfless act any human being can give. And too many people look down on pregnant women. Power to all preganat women!

Anonymous said...

What a great post!!!!! I am well past the pregnancy days, but I have not forgotten how you feel about yourself and how helpless at times you are to do anything about it....except wait!!!! I loved your helpful hints and wish that everyone could read your blog. I carried a baby that had died intrauterine for two months.....I can't tell you how hard that was to talk about when people made comments.....I wanted to wear a sign in order to avoid the topic. You just never know. Now days they don't let you carry like that, but then it was really hard.

HalnJess said...

I quietly click on your blog for a smile or thought and this one made me want to stand up and clap!! I'm 7 months prego and just moved two weeks ago, only to slip and break my hand a few days later. So on top of not feeling cute, I can't even do my hair and makeup very well! Turns out I'll need surgery this week and I just laughed at my luck!!
Thanks for throwing a little attention out there for those not-so-kind remarks when we're really trying hard!!

heather said...

GASP! Of all the things a person can say to an expecting mother... Apparently this person has either ever been pregnant OR was born without any tact.

Tanyetta said...

I should be sleeping right now but, here I am smiling from ear to ear that I've come across your blog and this very timely post. I am giving you a virtual high five!

SERIOUSLY! I've often wondered what makes people tick and make them think they can just say anything they feel to people ESPECIALLY to a pregnant woman. I have declined on so many occasions of slapping people for half the crap they come out their pie hole with.

Get a clue already! Ugh, just Ugh.

Can't wait to read the hospital etiquette. That's why I have DECLINED any visitors, I already know foke LOVE to act a donkey when they come up to the hospital.


Anonymous said...

Isn't it incredible how so many people think pregnant women are just fair game to any sorts of rude comments? My approach - by the end of my pregnancy, when I was bitter and hormonal - was to confront it directly. And usually sarcastically. "Wow, thanks. Just when I thought I couldn't feel any more huge..."

I can't wait to read your post about hospital visit etiquette. Man, I wish some of my in-laws could have read something like that before my first born came last August...

Among the things they did were:
Bursting into my room without knocking (not even the doctors and nurses did that!) I could have had my boobs hanging out or been changing a pad.
My SIL threw a fit when we heard through the grapevine she planned to bring her two year old (without asking) to visit us and we politely asked her not to (her daughter is a wild one). When she got there to visit she kept reminding us how sad her daughter was to not be there.
And finally, they made it pretty clear all they cared about was my husband - suggesting over and over again right in front of me that they'd "watch me" so that he could go home shower and rest. They kept pushing it even after the few times my husband declined (he would have never left us) This was after I'd just had a c-section. Who just had a baby here?

Okay, sorry for the long comment and ranting. This just brought up some resentment I can't seem to get rid of I guess!

Rochelle said...

So true! Oh my word!! People can be so insensitive. Thanks for bringing up this topic and reminding everyone of this issue. We need to be so much more considerate of our pregnant ladies.

Jennifer and Jason Young said...

Wow, I had so much fun reading everyone's comments. I am glad I am not the only victim of crazy people verbally chiding me for being a human crockpot. Your posts are such a blessing...thank you!

Garr and Jennie said...

That was so great to read. I am 8 months pregnant and I've looked that way for months. I can admit that my pregnancy shows early and there's just now way to hide it. I am proud - and grateful - that I can get pregnant, it's a huge blessing. But pregnant women are already emotional and don't need tactless, ignorant remarks from those around them. Maybe I should start referring people to your blog!

LeShel said...

thank YOU!!