if you can't say anything nice...

when in the company of someone or persons who begin to talk about another person, what do you do? Listen in? Add your thoughts?

The best thing we can do to detour this kind of behavior is to either re-direct the conversation politely, which is actually very easy to do (look below) or if you simply cannot, walk away...that's right...I give you permission to stand up or turn around and simply walk away.

I am certainly not perfect and have made mounds of mistakes in my life and continue to do so, I will also use the advice I give to better my life, which is one of the reasons I have this blog.

Picture this: You're at lunch with seven other women from your general area (work, neighborhood, building, play group, gym, whatever...) and the conversation casually turns to Freida, the friend who couldn't make it and everyone knows she's having marital problems let's say. One lady at your lunch tells details that she heard from another of Freida's friends whom you don't know...or you do know her, it doesn't really matter. Another of the ladies at lunch chimes in with how poorly her kids are doing in school because of the whole situation. It's really already gone too far. But, at this point, you step in, be brave, and say, "You know what? It might hurt Freida's feelings to know that we're discussing her without her being here, I'm sure she needs our support and comfort right now" PAUSE "You're all so nice to care about her situation so much...but I haven't heard a thing about how all of your are doing?" There it is, plain and simple. If that doesn't work or you get a look like you just walked in without clothes, simply excuse yourself and let the ladies know that you'll see them later and simply walk out with a smile.

Sometimes the right thing isn't the easy thing, in fact, most of the time, the right thing isn't the easy thing, but it still needs to be done.