Thursday, September 4, 2008
Ooops!
I was just informed that my comments section had disappeared. I have corrected the problem (hopefully), sorry if there was any inconvenience.
The art of the response
It's important to think ahead of time when in difficult situations, as to how you are going to re-act (or if you are going to "re-act"). Here are some things for us all to consider when responding to rudeness:
Don't automatically take it personally- Sometimes the offender has had a very bad day, or going through something difficult, or is simply in a bad mood. Give them the benefit of the doubt by imagining what he might be going through (it's called compassion or sympathy)- the sting of the recent confrontation with someone, a family problem, trouble at work, the illness of a loved one.
Size up your annoyances- Sometimes it's best to let things go. Will making a point to the person who's using her credit card with a to-big-to-miss sign over the cash register saying "Cash Only" accomplish anything, or will it be a waste of your emotional energy?
Take responsibility for your actions- We've talked about humility, which can be hard to find these days...ask yourself if you did something to provoke the treatment. If you speak sharply to a bank teller because you have had an awful day at work, it's no wonder that you won't get the best service.
Mentally count to ten- Whenever someone else's behavior makes you angry, forget about them and focus on yourself or something else for a few seconds. Take a few deep breathes and ask yourself, "Is it really worth blowing my stack over this?"
Use humor- Countering a friend's comment that "you look terrible", with a sarcastic retort like "how kind of you to say so!" is preferable to "Well, you look pretty bad yourself." Another tactic is to laugh it off-literally. Just chuckle and change the subject or just smile then change the subject.
Now let me make my disclaimer- I have done many things in my life that have been rude. I have to constantly smack myself in the face and wake up to reality and remember how I would want to be treated. I think if you are on the "offending" end, you must learn to apologize, and that if you are on the "receiving end" you must learn to forgive...otherwise, we're all on a path to misery..I don't know about you but it takes a lot of my energy to hold a grudge!
Don't automatically take it personally- Sometimes the offender has had a very bad day, or going through something difficult, or is simply in a bad mood. Give them the benefit of the doubt by imagining what he might be going through (it's called compassion or sympathy)- the sting of the recent confrontation with someone, a family problem, trouble at work, the illness of a loved one.
Size up your annoyances- Sometimes it's best to let things go. Will making a point to the person who's using her credit card with a to-big-to-miss sign over the cash register saying "Cash Only" accomplish anything, or will it be a waste of your emotional energy?
Take responsibility for your actions- We've talked about humility, which can be hard to find these days...ask yourself if you did something to provoke the treatment. If you speak sharply to a bank teller because you have had an awful day at work, it's no wonder that you won't get the best service.
Mentally count to ten- Whenever someone else's behavior makes you angry, forget about them and focus on yourself or something else for a few seconds. Take a few deep breathes and ask yourself, "Is it really worth blowing my stack over this?"
Use humor- Countering a friend's comment that "you look terrible", with a sarcastic retort like "how kind of you to say so!" is preferable to "Well, you look pretty bad yourself." Another tactic is to laugh it off-literally. Just chuckle and change the subject or just smile then change the subject.
Now let me make my disclaimer- I have done many things in my life that have been rude. I have to constantly smack myself in the face and wake up to reality and remember how I would want to be treated. I think if you are on the "offending" end, you must learn to apologize, and that if you are on the "receiving end" you must learn to forgive...otherwise, we're all on a path to misery..I don't know about you but it takes a lot of my energy to hold a grudge!
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